A Walking Chestnut (Pokemon x MLP) (Cross post from Fimfiction)

Sexy Halloween Special

In a mountain range far from the lands of Equestria, a place that civilization has never crossed, lies a secret society of creatures, big and small, weak and strong, smart and dumb, all living together without any worry.

All except two inhabitants of that land beyond the mountain.

"Okay, and then I said, 'Greet Her? I Barely know her!' and everybody started laughing, it was hilarious I'm telling you." A Creature spoke, its body floating a meter above the ground, its body shaped like a chandelier and it's candles lit by a soft yet sinister purple flame.
Two yellow dots on its body act as eyes as it looked over the mountain it just climbed before turning to look at its companion.

"So yeah, we soon did the yoinky sploinky, the hooba dooba, the tarantula tango, you know the ones, and that was how I lost my virginity, how did your first time go?" The Human turned Pokemon asked.

"It's none of your business!" The second creature shouted at the first, it's face flushed with embarrassment, or perhaps Blood lust?
OoOoh SpoOoOoky.

"It's not like we have anything better to talk about, we are surrounded by nothing but mountains and valleys for hundreds of miles, it's not like someone will hear you. C'mon spill the beans, was it hot? Was it romantic? Did you remember to use a condom?" The Chandelure asked.

The Human's companion, a pony shaped creature covered in a black carapace and with a bugs wings sighed before it mumbled something under it's breath.

"What was that? I can't hear you from all the way up here" The Floating Chandelier responded, rising half a meter above where it previously held itself.

"I said that-~..." The Changeling mumbled the rest of the sentence, looking at the floor in embarrassment.

"C'mon, you can tell me, we're friends aren't we? We're pals, buddies even, you can tell me how it was. I bet it was sticky and smelly and you regretted it in the morning, a buddy of mine had his first time like that, It was back in college, what? Four, maybe five years ago? Who cares, he was studying for an engineering degree, nerd, what about you, C'mon you can tell me." The Chandelure spoke, trying to get the Changeling to answer his embarrassing, and even private, question.

"I said that I never had sex" The chanegling muttered a bit louder.

"Shout it, I can't hear you when you're speaking so softly." The Chandelier replied, getting on the nerves of the changeling.

"I SAID I NEVER HAD SEX sex sex" The changeling yelled at the human, his shout echoing between the valleys and the mountains, for all creatures to hear.

"What, you never had sex? You're a virgin? Yeah, i can see that, you're too shy to catch a fish aren't you? or do you swing the other way perhaps? It's fine I don't judge, I'm the dual wielder myself, let me tell you something, it's not gay if you don't find him romantically attractive, and it's also not gay as long as you ass isn't penetrated. I can teach you a thing or two if you want, might even take you myself if you wish, it's fine, you're not that bad looking I guess, for a Bug at least, I'm sure some big buff guy would love to pin you down on the ground and drill you like a carpenter, You already have all these holes on your legs, do you think I can fit it in there? Do they hurt or do they feel pleasure? Is it natural or is it a fashion statement?" The chandelier started talking again, embarrassing the poor changeling even more.

"Please stop talking please stop talking please stop talking" he closed his eyes and repeated to himself like a mantra, hoping to get the human to stop being so embarrassingly filthy.

When the changeling opened his eyes, he found himself back in his bed, in his small burrow he dug into the side of a mountain.

It seemed the entire conversation with the floating chandelier was nothing but a weird nightmare.

As he tried getting out of bed, he bumped into something and fell.

"Mhm, good morning handsome, last night was amazing" A sultry voice said behind him, he stiffly turned around to see who it was.

His bed wasn't as empty as he previously thought, if the lump of sleeping bodies under his sheets were anything to go by.

"Oh hey buddy, it seemed you woke up, you kinda snapped last evening and started transforming parts of your body into all sorts of different things, it was incredible, you did this thing with your tongue where it split into two hands and massaged the insides of their body, it was so hot, why didn't you tell me you could do that?" A purple floating chandelier told the changeling after it floated out of his bed-sheets, revealing even more people under it.

From Ponies to Griffons, from Minotaurs to Zebras, the changelings bed was filled with all manner of creature male and female.

"And hey, now when someone asks you how you lost your virginity you could say it was in the best orgy of your life, let's do this again soon, I'm off to get these guys water, hydration is important after something like this." The Purple Chandelure soon floated out of the cave, leaving the Changeling alone with a bunch of sweaty, naked bodies.

This was the worst (pronounced: best) day of his life.

This chapter is obviously non-canon, and is for fun.