If We Die I'm Glad It's Like This

Chapter One: Makima Simp

The cafeteria is an eruption of noise, so naturally, the people at this specific table scream to make each other heard.

Not Jacob though. He always sounded as if he was telling you a very important secret. “Have you seen my lighter?”

A girl with skin of fired clay and a heart of sunflowers sat on her knees at the lunch table, looming over everyone else. “No.” Her voice trailed off.
He flicked the lighter out of his pocket and in his hand. “It doesn’t work.”
Her face lit up and she started to stim with her hands. “You did show me this! Last year.”

I— your lowly narrator— butt in. “Oh my God, that’s your ahegao lighter.”
His face reddened. “I-It’s not even my lighter.”
The narrator hums. “Whatever you say, perv.”

“I mean, he is a Makima simp.”
“Big titties for the win!” The narrator tries to dap Jacob up but he is a God fearing Christian and left them hanging. The narrator went through the five stages of grief in a couple of seconds but it felt like a lifetime.

Jacob played with the zipper on his jacket the noise scratching an itch the narrator didn’t know they had, before he went back to incorrectly eating a taco.

How does one eat a taco incorrectly?

Well, this is how. The young man scoops out the meat and shovels it in his mouth. Strike one. This is school cafeteria meat. No one is that hungry.

He then eats the bland tortilla. Strike. Two.
As everyone shakes their heads; he simply shrugs like he isn't a psychopath. Strike three! He’s out!

Even J.I. the kid who only brings way to much junk food scoots away from him.

Makayla squints at Jacob, shaking her head. What the fuck is wrong with you!” She shakes him vigorously.
He shrugs stiffly. Not because he was uncomfortable but because that was just the way he did most things. “I didn’t think I’d eat it but I was hungry.”
“No rights!” She screeched. “You’re just like  [ReDACted] now.”
The narrator tipped their head down, fake sobbing. All because they don’t like redheads.

The two friends are sitting closer than usual with their arms brushing up against each other. Just kiss already. Save us the misery. They don’t, to the narrator’s dismay. They blame it on the bell ringing.

“You’re going to the party tomorrow?” He nods. “Okay, cool. As a warning my dad might give you a talk ’.”
He laughed. “R-Really?” Jacob’s already packed up.
“Yeah. My dad will probably be like, ‘my daughter this’ and ‘my daughter that’ but whatever. It’s cool.”

There are two funny things about that sentence; 1. The father shipped it? He a real one. 2. She isn’t really a girl. She’s not a boy by any means.

Probably.

As your narrator, I feel like I should be upfront about these sorts of things.

He waved his hand like a robot, and blushed slightly. “Ha. I’ll just tell him I think you’re not— like all that attractive to me.”
Though Jacob and the narrator are good friends, politely, he’s full of shit. He gave the two of them another robot wave. “Bye guys.”
“Bye.” He was soon engulfed by the rest of the kids heading upstairs.

The narrator waited for Makayla to get her stuff in her bag. They didn’t help because they didn’t exactly care to do so.

A small cough made the narrator turn around as they screamed androgynously. The principal had taken off his shadow cloak, his hair perpetually slicked back.

Makayla covered her face. “Jesus [ReDACted], what’s the problem? OH!” She held her chest, taking a small step back. “Hey, Liam.”

Though the narrator was terrified by their former classmate (now turned principal), making a guest appearance, they couldn’t help but take pride in the one inch height difference.

“Sup, Makayla.”
“How’s the whole being the principal going for you?”
“Well, the free pizza is pretty nice.”
The narrator and Makayla sputtered, standing closer to Principal Jackson. “You get free pizza? Not fair.”
“Help the starving Africans today. Please. My mommy feeds me bricks.” If only they could fake cry. Drama taught them nothing.

He laughed in their faces and shook his head. Liam told them to not be late because he wouldn’t write them a pass.

The narrator grumbled angrily. “Winning that Rock-Paper-Scissors game changed him.”
“Yeah.” Their fingers got tangled into the other and soon enough they swung their intertwined hands happily.

“What are your pronouns today? He/they?”
They gave her the thumbs up. “You always know. It’s weird.”
She moved her long, dark hair out of her face. “I have a sense.” The narrator raised an eyebrow. Makayla covered her face, flipping the narrator off. “Shut up~ I don’t need another frigging gender crisis.”
“You’re only mad because it’s true. Bye, love.”
“Love? Aye, oh?” She acted as if she’d never heard the narrator use that for her and she hadn’t for them.
The narrator cupped their mouth. “Homo!”

Everyone finished the rest of their classes and rested the night away. At least, the narrator did. The other two fucks probably watched anime or jerked off though they would never admit it.

The Halloween party is when the action happened.