Learning to love Miss Hopeless romantic

Chapter 4

Atasha POV

"Can't stop these feet from sinking
And it's starting to show on me
You're staring while I'm blinking
But just don't tell me what you see

I'm so over all this bad luck
Hearing one more "Keep your head up"
Is it ever gonna change?"

Here I am again, thinking where and how did it all go wrong.

Pagkatapos ng usapan sa classroom kanina ay wala ng kumausap sakin dahil hindi na ako sumasagot, pano pa ako sasagot kung yung huling tanong nila ay grabe ang tama sakin.

Am I really traumatized? I don't know...

Yes you are.

Nakahiga lang ako ngayon dito sa tabi ng dagat habang nagiisip. Palubog palang ang araw na madalas kong pinapanood.

"How can they say I'm traumatized?" Tanong ko sa sarili.

"Because of the things you've been doing" biglang sagot ng nasa likuran ko kaya nilingon ko ito pero di na ako nagabalang bumangon sa pagkakahiga dahil wala pa akong lakas.

"Things I've been doing? How can you say so? Do you also see me as a traumatized person?" I ask again.

"I don't, given by the fact the we just met each other but I do notice some things about you" sagot nyang muli at umupo sa may kanan ko.

"Thing like?"

"You're an aloof person"

"You're too careful of your surroundings and afraid of leaving your own circle" pagpapatuloy nya.

"Isn't it normal that I want to be surrounded by people I trust?" Tanong kong muli at ngayon ay nakaharap na ako sa kanya at sya naman ay sa dagat ang tingin.

"It is but it also shows that you're either afraid or traumatized because you've been betrayed before." Sagot nito at bahagyang ngumiti at humarap sakin.

"Why does life needs to be this complicated?" I ask again not moving my eyes from her.

"I don't know too but all I know is this is how the world works, unfair." Sagot nya at humarap sakin ng nakangiti.

"Tangina" mahinang sambit ko.

"Sorry?" Nagtatakang tanong nya.

Ay nasabi ko ba nasa isip ko?

"Oh sorry that's nothing" nahihiyang sagot ko at bumangon na sapagkakahiga at umupo nalang sa tabi nito, may konting espasyo pa naman sa pagitan namin.

"If you don't mind, why did we have that kind of conversation?" She asks again at sakin pa din ito nakatingin kaya tumingin din ako sa kanya pero bigla naman itong tumingin sa dagat.

"Someone said I'm traumatized the way I act" simpleng sagot ko at tumingin nalang din sa dagat.

"Are you?" Tanong nya uli.

"I don't know" kibit balikat kong sagot.

"What?" Napalingon na ito sakin at nagtataka.

"I said I don't know."

"How come you not know?" Tanong nya uli at titig na titig sakin kaya tumingin na din ako sa kanya.

"Because I don't remember anything from my past" sagot ko uli bago huminga ng malalim.

It's true, I don't know how or why but I can't remember anything when I was younger, all I remember was when I was 12 years old.