One More Step (Would It Make Me Free?)

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Hitoshi felt lighter after cutting his hair, more like his own person. It was by no means the best haircut in the world - rather choppy, in fact - but it was a choice he made for himself. That was what mattered to him.

He did allow Yamada to clean it up a bit after, though. Having his hair actually cut evenly would be nice, and he couldn't deny Yamada the chance to fix it when he saw the excitement on his face at the prospect. Or the horror on his face when he saw the state his hair originally was in.

Hitoshi kept looking at himself in the mirror every time he came near one. It was strange to see himself now, though in a good way. It was him, free, away from Overhaul's clutches. Foreign as it was, he could actually be himself again.

Be himself. That was the hardest part of everything. He didn't know who he was anymore. He had no interests, no hobbies, nothing. He wasn't entirely sure what to do with himself now that Overhaul was no longer in the equation.

He found himself spending most of his time keeping an eye on Eri. That was familiar, at least. He'd done that back with Overhaul, too. Now that the high stakes from then were gone, too, he found himself able to actually relax enough to enjoy the time he spent with her.

He found himself watching over the cats, too. It seemed like a good enough way to try and merge his old and new life. Keeping an eye on people was something he already knew how to do, so he didn't feel as hopelessly out of his element as he did doing other things - even trying to do something as simple as watch a movie Eri wanted to had left him feeling as out of place as snow in summer. But falling into old habits with cats, something he'd never have seen with Overhaul, helped remind him that things really were different now.

It was all about finding the right balance between the old and the new. Too much of the old, and he feared he'd lose himself in bad memories. Too much of the new, and he felt like he was drowning in the sheer unfamiliarity. It was a precarious balance he had to maintain, but he was managing so far. Hitoshi was doing great as far as he was concerned.

Which was why he couldn't help but freeze when he'd overheard a conversation between Aizawa and Yamada late one night.

He hadn't meant to. He'd woken up once again due to nightmares, a pretty much nightly occurrence. He liked to get up and get a glass of water before trying (and almost always failing) to go back to sleep. It was another one of the few things that reminded him he was safe now without overwhelming him. The novelty of being able to drink water whenever he wanted usually managed to distract him from the nightmares, too. So he'd left his room once again, searching for that same distraction, when he heard them talking.

"...and I know they'll probably be hesitant, but they both really need therapy, Sho." Yamada's voice, though far quieter than normal, still carried from his and Aizawa's room into the hall where Hitoshi stood.

"I'm not disagreeing, but I doubt we'll have an easy time getting them to agree. Or getting Shinsou to agree, at least. Trying to push it too much could make him lose whatever trust he might have in us." Their conversation continued, but Hitoshi stopped listening. He'd heard enough.

Aizawa was right about one thing; Hitoshi was not going to agree to therapy so easily. Talking to a stranger who'd pretend to give a shit about his problems and offer useless advice did not sound appealing to him in the slightest.

Especially not the part where he'd be alone in a room with an adult. It was one thing with Aizawa and Yamada - Aizawa had saved him, and no one married to someone like that could be bad - but with anyone else? The very thought just screamed danger.

So no, Hitoshi would not be going to therapy, thank you. Besides, it wasn't like he needed it, anyway. Therapy was for people who had problems they needed help dealing with, wasn't it? He didn't need help. He was handling everything perfectly well on his own. He didn't need some stranger trying to butt into something that was none of their business.