Douma Harem + Douma Oneshots

ʕ•̫͡•ʔDouma x Akazaʕ•̫͡•ʔ

A/N: okkk so random I know, but this was a thought I had, and voila. Again, some good old angst  for all of you. I like angst, okay? I think this was requested by Kokushiboxdouma but I can't remember. Tw! Mentions of death, and suicide. But if you are comfortable with that, Lets begin!

What had he done to deserve this? Why had it happened? He was dead. The one person that could genuinely make him smile, who could make him laugh. That unique person had become ashes, and drifted away on the wind. Douma needed to forget him, forget his eyes, his personality, his smile.

But there's a blank space on the bed. A blank space on the chair. A space that will never be occupied again, for Douma will never forget. 

He knew that he had to be strong. No, he had to be cold, like the porcelain doll his parents thought they had raised. China limbs couldn't shake, and a heart made of stone couldn't bleed. 

But glass eyes, such as his, could watch everything. And he watched. He saw the imperfections in everyone; the insecurities. He could see how people tried to stitch together cracks in their own lives. Himself included, Douma could honestly say. 

He could feel all the emotions that Akaza had helped bring up, feelings that he had awakened slowly slip away into nothingness, hiding back under the surface of his smooth skin. 

He'd tried  to retrieve them, going so far as to peel back his own flesh from his skeleton in a pathetic attempt to find the newly formed emotions. 

When you have something, it's easy to forget what it would be like to lose them, but that's what happened to Douma. No one could help him.

He was broken, and the one person who could fix him was dead.

Douma tried to bring it in him to care, to cry, to sob, but all he could feel was an empty hollowness that gnawed away at his core and wrapped his freezing heart in thorns. But Douma had been taught a few things by his parents, and he'd remembered one or two.

Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go.

So he let go. He began to forget about the pink haired demon that had helped him experience joy for the first time. He forgot the gentle touch, the soothing whispers in the night.  

And now? Now he was heartless again. Unfeeling, cold to the touch and cold to the heart. He'd read once in a book, a western fable, that someone had something like that happening to them as what he was dealing with. With loss. 

'Those who are heartless are the people that once cared too much, the old man sighed.' A/N (No it's not an actual book, I made it up) And now Douma understood the meaning behind what the man had said. Douma had once cared. Cared too much for his own good.

And now he was alone again, stuck in a fortress with golden gates and stained glass windows. A fortress of his thoughts, of his mind. Nothing could every scar him like his own mind had.

"Douma? Are you okay?" Asked the voice, the voice that Douma would be sure he would loathe if he had emotions. Nowadays, he didn't like any voice that asked him that question. No matter the person, he would hate their voice.

"Yes, Kaiguku. Yes, I'm fine." 

But he wasn't fine, was he? He was smiling to hold back meaningless tears, and he was just so lonely. 

The temple, a place he'd always considered home, no longer felt right. Some days he would just sit on his bed there, wanting to go home. But Douma didn't even know where his home was. He'd come to believe that his home would be where Akaza was, but Akaza just wasn't here. No one was there. No one to help him through the numb nights, were he would drink until he couldn't remember his love.

Douma rubbed at his eyes, wishing for one, just one, real tear to fall. But he'd been waiting decades, and it seemed he'd be waiting decades more. Years and years passed, and Douma was stuck in his daydream, where Akaza returned, safe and sound. 

Douma couldn't let go. (A/N: let it go, let it gooo, can't hold it back anymore! Ok just trying to lighten the mood) He couldn't forget. 

"I drink to forget, but I always remember. (A/N: I'll stop interrupting the emo story, but did anyone get that reference?) Akaza-darling, why did you die?" He murmured softly, eyes closed as he swayed in the moonlight. 

Should he end it all? Stay out til the sun arose? Would there be a Heaven waiting for him, with Akaza? Or would he see empty darkness, before falling into an endless, dreamless sleep.

"We could have had it all. I would have given you all I had! All of it."

And for the first time in decades, a real tear was created from the barren husk of Uppermoon Two. Once a feared demon, he'd been reduced to a broken, unfixable mess. 

Red streaks shot across the horizon, and as Douma felt his skin bursting and burning, he admired the beauty of the morning light. His limbs puckered and blistered, and he felt excruciating pain shoot through him.

Death would be embraced with open arms, decided Douma. 

The world as he knew it faded to black, and Douma let put a genuine smile.

"Will I see you again, my love?"

Douma opened his eyes wearily. A bright, unnatural light shone into them and, unaccustomed to such brightness, he blinked them shut again. 

"D-douma? Is it...you?" Came a voice, a voice that Douma had not heard in eons. A voice that, on despairing nights, Douma voice imagine soothing him and his woes.

"Akaza?" He cried, opening his eyes with speed not accessible to him even as a demon. "I've missed you, my love."

"Douma, I don't...love you anymore. I met my human fiancé, Koyuki."

And with those words, what was left of Douma's shattered heart broke entirely, and he wept. 

For the love he would never have, for the life he never got the chance to live. For the parents who never loved him, for everything he'd ruined.

"I thought we would burn in hell together, Akaza. You promised me. I guess that's meant nothing  after all. I wasn't worth living for, eh? Goodbye, my darling. I will burn in hell alone, and alone I have been for far too long. I loved you Akaza, I really did."

"Hakuji. My name is Hakuji."

"No. For me, you will always be Akaza."

And with that final comment, the two went their separate ways. One subjected to eternal torture in Hell, the other living in blissful peace in Heaven.

Two lovers, forever separated. Two hearts, forever broken.

I don't know how to make a happy ending please teach me how to live happily.