Breathe Me In || Minbin ✔️

26

I want to eat him up. Shove him against the wall and kiss him. I want him. Bad.

"How was it?" I smile, giggling to myself. "Never mind, don't answer that. You're practically drooling." I pinch his cheek lightly.

He just gazes at me with a shocked expression. I could hear what he was thinking. "Is he real? What just happened? Why is he so hot?" And probably some other inappropriate things.

"I'm tired just from watching that. You- wow. You're amazing. I don't even want to dance anymore. How the fuck- who the fuck are you?" He laughs, his ears bright red.

"I'm Lee Minho, bitch. Are you going to actually learn this Latin dance today or not?"

After all, this is still my job. We are in my workplace. I can't just let him off the hook. He paid for a dance session, so I'm going to give him one.

Though, may I say, the sexual tension is high.

-

"My feet hurt," he whines, throwing himself on the couch. "Can we be done for the day?"

"We can, yeah," I smile. "But you can't complain about your feet hurting. You stepped on mine so many times that they're numb!"

"I'm sorry! I did the one-two step and the three-four-five. It's hard. Dancing is hard. I admire your passion for it."

"Yeah, I guess so. Tattooing someone has gotta be way harder. Sitting there for hours while drawing on someone with a permanent tool? Sounds like absolute hell."

"You get used to it."

"You get used to dancing, too."

I sit next to him. "You should get home. I need to feed my cats, anyway. It was a good session. Are you planning on coming back or was this just to exploit myself to you?"

"I'm coming back. I'm going to learn the Salsa."

"Whatever you say, Bin."

-

"Hey, I must've caught something, but I can't come in today," I cough out, my voice only raspy because of me just waking up.

"Dammit. Do you think you'll be okay tomorrow?" My boss says, annoyed whenever someone calls in.

"I'm not sure. I'll message later to update you on how I'm feeling."

"Alright, feel better."

I hang up, throwing my phone to the end of my bed. I'm not sick. Sick in the head, maybe. My motivation to live isn't doing well at the moment. Maybe a break is what I need.

I close my eyes, feeling tears build against them already. It's so early and I'm already digging myself into a hole. Pulling the blanket over my head, the tears fly free. There's not many, but they're there.

I hear a meow and then feel a paw at my head. The blanket is removed as I stare down at Soonie. He always knows. He always comes when he feels it. That's why I love cats.

He rubs his nose against mine, plopping down so I could cry into his fur. I hold him loosely, soothing myself by petting his soft coat. He meows softly, almost telling me that it's okay. His scratchy tongue begins to lick at my tears, cleaning them up. My sweetheart.

A day to myself and my cats. That sounds pretty good to me. Maybe I can deep clean my apartment and get some things done. I haven't done that in awhile. Have a nice dinner too. I don't usually cook fancier meals since I'm always busy.

"Alright Soon, should I get up or start a movie?"

His meow is long.

"A movie with cereal it is."

He doesn't move as I get up to wash myself and make some breakfast. I wouldn't want him to, anyway. The cold water on my face is refreshing with a spark of goosebumps.

I bring back a big bowl, the milk sloshing around as I get myself comfortable. The mattress is still warm from when I left. I turn on a random movie, letting my thoughts drown.

Everyone has days like this, I'm sure. No one likes to talk about it. It seems dumb from an outside point of view. Lazy, even. But feeling so depressed to the point where I don't even have the motivation to go to work is rough. I can't force myself to. I tried, but I ended up crying. I don't cry. I'm not a crier.

I lay back on my pillows, hugging Soonie's small body to my chest. I wish Changbin was here. There's no more shame in wishing that. I have a deep connection with him that I believe he's noticed too. There's only a matter of time where one of us actually gets the confidence to say something. If I'm actually right about the feeling being mutual.

I grab my phone from the edge of the bed, saving it from breaking. My notification bar is filled with messages from my friends. I look.

____

Sungie 🐿

yo
i know you're
working but can
you tell me what
you think of this?
0:00 ————— 0:28

it sounds fine. keep
working on it

_____

Seo Changbin 🗿

hey
how's the tattoo
doing?

it's fine

_____

Seungmo 🦴

I dropped by the
studio, but they
said you called
in sick. Do you
need anything?

no, i'm fine

_____

Channie 💪

Seung told me you're
sick. You doing alright?
Need me to come over?

no, it's fine. i
can take care of
myself

_____

I put my phone down on my nightstand. I should just turn it off. I don't want to talk to anyone anyway. It's not like they'll show up. I told them I'm okay. They should take the hint and leave it alone.

I close my eyes after finishing my cereal. Fuck cleaning. I just want to lay here in self pity. There's no use in thinking about doing anything but. I have no energy.

My phone buzzes, but I ignore it. I need to turn it off, but I can't. What if my parents call me about an emergency? What if one of my friends need help? It doesn't matter. My phone is on vibrate. I'll ignore it anyway. Why must I do this?

It buzzes again, but I'm not paying attention. I just want to be unconscious again.