ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ʜᴏᴘᴘᴇʀ

ᴇᴘɪꜱᴏᴅᴇ 12

Tw- mention sa, f slur (used only once), small panic attack

(Vance pov)

My eyes open slowly as I rise up. I look around the room to see everyone gone. They probably headed to school already. A small sigh escapes from my mouth as I get up from off the bed.
I felt something sharp hit the bottom as my feet and I see that it's a phone. Not just any phone, it's Griffin's. So that means that they're still here.
I grab a towel and a rag from out of my closet because it's been a day since I washed up, and since I washed my hair. And I care deeply about my hair.
I leave the room seeing Bruce and Finney talking. Probably about their game today. Even though they're on different teams, they cheer for eachother when one of them hits the ball.
Its really nice.

Bruce looks at me and smiles. "Morning Vance".
I smiled back at him. Even though it's a morning and I hate mornings, seeing Bruce just made my day. I enter the bathroom placing down my towel and rag on the hanger.

I turn on the shower making sure to put it on hot. I can't have a good shower unless it's on hot. Whoever can't take it are just pussies. Except if your Bruce. Then it's a different story. Bruce likes washing up in cold water which I find weird. The cold makes me shiver too much and I get sick by it. I seriously think Bruce is a robot sometimes.

I take off my clothes and look in the mirror and see my chest. This sends chills down my spine. I notice there were stitches on my chest. I never even knew that they had to stich up my chest. I feel bad for putting my mom and friend through that. Even though they said it wasn't my fault, I know that it was. If I wasn't so stupid this would have never happened. Maybe I am corrupted by society to think that i'm a boy. I snap back in reality when I realized i've been looking in the mirror for the past 5 minutes.

I step in the shower and it felt like heaven. I don't remember the last time since the incident that I actually had a decent shower. The hot water against my skin felt so amazing. I take a big sigh in as a relief. I just let the water flow down my body as I relax. It just feels like all of my problems went away. Almost as if something isn't going to go down today. I decided to not do that shit for Moose. I texted him telling him to kill his self, not a good thing I know but he called Bruce a fag. And then I blocked him. Today was Bruce's baseball game so I know he's going to try and do some shit to humiliate him or me. Or both of us actually. But I remember Bruce telling me yesterday that he didn't care if people saw them holding hands, or kissing. Bruce didn't care about what other people thought about us. That's what I love about him. But I also want the best for Bruce. I don't want people calling him slurs everyday and picking on him. He's an amazing boyfriend and doesn't deserve anything bad happening to him.

I grab my rag and soap and starts scrubbing around my body. I can tell I was getting dirty because I see dirt coming from off of me.
I shiver in disgust as I get to the part when i have to scrub my chest.

I start gently scrubbing my chest. Looking away from it in disgust. If I had the money to remove this shit, I would. But I only saved up $50. In 5 months. Im getting nowhere. Im sure Finney feels the same. But if i'm being honest, If I had the money, i'll give it to Finney. He's nice and everyone likes him. Well, except for the bullies. But he isn't like me, everyone's scared of me and thinks the worse of me.

While everyone thinks of Finney as a sweet person. And I don't blame them. I sigh in relief as I finished washing all over my body. Now it was time for my hair.

A couple minutes later, I finish washing my hair. I don't really feel like brushing my teeth so i'll just drink some moist wash and pop a peppermint down my throat. I reach out the shower to get my towel wrapping it around my body, also making sure to wrap tightly around the waste.
I get out the bathroom looking around and the house and I don't see anybody. They're probably just waiting outside for me, hopefully.