Several weeks past and suddenly the Christmas holidays were upon them. Peter was going home - ‘big frigging family Christmas. Boring as hell!’ but James had been planning to stay at Hogwarts with Remus and Sirius until he received an owl from his mother saying his father was ill and he had to come home to help out. Dumbledore gave him permission to leave a day early and he Flooed home, looking a little more concerned than his usual bravado suggested.
Peter left the next day with a dark ‘hope you have more fun than I will’ to the two remaining Marauders who sat on their respective beds in a bit of a funk.
‘What do you want to do, Pads?’ Remus asked the brooding brunette.
‘Dunno,' Sirius shrugged, staring down at his ground with apparent rapt fascination. 'Go for a walk?’
Remus nodded and stood up. ‘Mmm, alright.’
They rugged up and walked down the staircases in silence. They got all the way to the lake, standing on the stony shore and looking out over the frozen, glassy surface before Remus spoke.
‘James’ dad will be alright, Padfoot.'
Sirius’ jaw clenched when he heard the soft reassurance and he closed his slate-grey eyes. He didn’t know if the fact Remus knew exactly what he was thinking irritated him or whether he was pleased the werewolf knew him so well.
‘He’s not getting any younger. I just...' He shook his head. 'They took me in, Moony. They let me stay with them for a year before I found my own place... They didn’t have to, but they did and they treated me like a son. I feel like...’
He shrugged, not sure if he would sound incredibly selfish if he voiced his thoughts.
‘...like you want to be there but you aren’t sure if you should be?’
Sirius let out a disbelieving breath and shook his head in wonder.‘How do you do that? How do you know exactly what I’m thinking?’
Remus smiled an enigmatic smile and just said, ‘Lucky guess, perhaps.’
‘Bullshit.’
Remus’ smile broadened, but he said nothing, waiting for Sirius to get out everything he needed to, knowing it would drive the other boy mad if he kept his concerns and fears bottled up.
‘James is their son. I’m just the mutt they took in off the street. I don’t have the right to be there if he gets ill. That‘s time for family...’
‘It takes more than blood to make a family, Sirius,' said Remus firmly. 'You know that better than anyone. Mr and Mrs Potter love you. They probably just want James to come home to help out. He‘ll come back complaining that he had to work his arse off.‘
Sirius nodded, but still looked unconvinced and Remus tried one more time.
‘If James’ dad is really ill, they’ll call for you, Pads. They’ll want you there, I know it. They love you.’
Sirius sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, staring at the ground intently until he was sure he wouldn‘t burst into grateful tears. There was a very good reason Remus was the one everyone came to when they needed to talk through their problems. There was something very comforting and soothing about his soft reassurances.
Remus saw Sirius’ efforts to hold back his tears and hesitated a moment before he brushed his hand lightly against the other boy‘s; tentatively, not sure the gesture would be welcome. But Sirius grabbed hold of the offered hand like a life preserver and they stood silently by the lake, gripping each other tight.
~*~*~
After a quiet and somewhat introspective day, Sirius disappeared behind his curtain with a quiet ‘goodnight’ early that evening, leaving Remus to his own devices. Remus tried to read for a while, but his mind kept wandering to something that had been bothering him for weeks.
