James left, closing the door behind him and Sirius looked warily at a wide-eyed Remus. Hee took a tentative step forward, frowning when Remus blinked, his face closing up before he turned away.
‘You’re angry with me,' Sirius said softly. 'I don’t blame you, but if you could just give me a chance to explain…’
‘It’s alright, Sirius,' Remus said stiffly, clenching his fists. 'Really. I do understand why…’
‘No, you don’t. I...’
‘I read the letter.’
There were several seconds of silence then Remus stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets. ‘I'm sorry I snooped,' he mumbled, staring at his feet. 'I probably shouldn't have but...well, I know now, so there’s not much more to be said. I really do understand how hard this must be for you and…well, maybe we can still be friends…’
‘Fuck it all, Moony! I don’t want to be your friend!' Sirius cried and Remus looked up sharply, hurt and pain all over his face.
'Fine,' he snapped angrily, turning his back on Sirius. 'You'll only have to put up with my presence for another few weeks then we never have to see each other again.'
'That's not what I meant, Remus!' Sirius insisted, voice cracking as the thought of never seeing Remus again tore at his insides. 'I just...'
He let out a sharp, frustrated exhale and ran a hand through his unusually dishevelled hair. ‘Can you just…hear me out?' he asked, stepping closer to Remus who glanced over his shoulder at him. 'Please? I know I’ve been a complete arse but I did warn you I would be occasionally. I needed some time to sort everything out in my head…and you know what a mess it is in there.’
He smiled weakly at Remus who felt his aching heart crack a little more. ‘You don’t need to explain your choices…’ he began, but Sirius interrupted.
‘Please, Remus?' he begged, grey eyes pleading and pained. 'Don’t give up on me so quickly.’
His imploring tone made Remus pause. He bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth. Sirius shifted closer and touched a finger to the soft, reddening flesh. 'You'll make it bleed.'
Remus shivered as Sirius' touch sent a jolt of pure want through his core. He moved to sit down on the bed and nodded his agreement. Sirius closed the distance between them and sat down next to him, giving Remus a little space. Remus' face was schooled into a blank mask and Sirius was terrifed that he wouldn't be able to get through to the werewolf.
‘Remus?’ he asked quietly and Remus frowned.
‘I’m listening,' he muttered, staring down at the floor. 'I said I would...’
Sirius nodded and took a breath, gathering his thoughts before he spoke. This might be the most important conversation he ever had and he had to get it right.
Breathe, Sirius. Breathe.
‘I’m sorry,' Sirius began, eyes fixed on Remus' frozen profile. 'I shouldn’t have lied to you about the letter but…I know you, Remus. You would have blamed yourself for all this shite.’
‘It’s my f…’
‘It’s not your fault,' Sirius said firmly. 'My problems with my family extend way beyond your reach, Moony. You didn't cause this - it's been coming for a long time...ever since I got sorted in Gryffindor really.’
Sirius sighed, reaching out and picking up the letter from his parents that James had dropped on the side table. ‘My parents want the Black name to continue and that was always more important than anything I ever got up to,' he murmured, running a finger along the edge of the obviously expensive parchment. 'They tell everyone I’m high spirited and put my oddities down to me…testing my limits.'
