sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ

N I N E

Trigger warning: rape

Alexa

Hanging out with Andrew was fun. We stayed out for a few hours before parting ways. I would have brought him to meet our uncle, but considering how weird Ryan was behaving earlier, I decided against it. Maybe Ryan is in a better mood now.

I walked inside of my house. Immediately, I noticed Ryan sitting down on the couch in the living room, his hair a mess. He was smoking a cigarette--which wasn't like him at all. He must've been more messed up from malissa leaving than he was letting on.

I miss Malissa and Dylan....

No doubt Ryan does too.

Ryan glanced at me when I closed the door. I offer him a smile. Ryan throws the cigarette away and stands up, his eyes on me. My heartbeat sped up.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him warily. Why was he behaving so weirdly? "Do you want a hug, Uncle Ryan?"

"Uncle," Ryan says. "That's what I am to you, right..." I didn't like the way he said that. "Uncles don't look at their nieces the way that I've done. They don't do what I did."

Now he's starting to scare me. Was that alcohol on his breath? He was smoking and drinking? I then noticed three empty beer bottles next to where he was sitting.

"W-what are you talking about...?" I asked softly.

Ryan stepped closer to me, his legs wobbly. Was he drunk? Flashbacks of my dad's abuse went through my mind. What is going on?

"Lex, do you want to know why your mom left? Why she didn't keep in contact with me? Why she didn't want me to see you?"

I'm not going to like what Ryan is about to tell me, am I?

But even so, I took a deep breath, my hands clammy. Nerves overcame me. I'm scared. Why am I scared? I shouldn't be scared--it's only Ryan. It's my uncle. He's saved me. So why are alarm bells ringing in my ears?

"Yeah..." I say, because Ryan seemed to have been waiting for my response. "How come?" Ryan grinned at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. Ryan looked... scary.  He's scaring me...

"I touched you when you were a baby," Ryan says. "Over and over. You were only a baby so I couldn't do more than.... touch you in ways an uncle shouldn't touch their niece."

I back away, my eyes widening. What is he saying? Tears prickled at my eyes. What the fuck did he just say to me? That can't be true--I'm having a nightmare, right?

As if reading my mind, Ryan says, "Oh, Lex. That's why your mother cut ties with me," he says, slurring his words a bit. "I couldn't even do much then. You were just a baby..."

Run.

Fucking run.

But I stood there, frozen. I couldn't move. Every part of my body was shaking. This can't be happening.

"But you're all grown now," Ryan says, touching my face. "And now that Malissa has left, it's just the two of us. My sweet, sweet niece..."

Just run.

I couldn't move as Ryan bent down and placed his lips on mine. Tears started streaming down my face as his lips went down to my neck and bit it.

"Just relax. This won't hurt a bit, my darling niece."

***

I cried.

All I could do was cry. I felt so exposed; everything was hurting. I clutched myself, laying on the floor, my clothes flung across the room. I was naked. My cuts were in display, though my uncle didn't care.

I begged him to stop, but he didn't listen to me. He stripped me of my innocence. I never thought Ryan would ever do something like that. I thought he was my savior--but I was wrong, so very wrong.

I was too scared to move.  Ryan sat next to where I was laying, his pants off. After he was done with me, he became sluggish. I just saw my uncle's... thing. He took advantage of me. He... raped me... I thought he was safe, but all this time... I've been living with a monster.

Ryan put his hand on my stomach and I tensed up. Tears continued to stream down my face. I wanted to screamed, wanted to beg him to stop touching me, but no sound left my mouth.

"I'm sorry, Alexa," Ryan muttered, sounding remorseful as he rubbed his hand on my stomach. "I lost control. Please forgive me."

Forgive him? 

No way...

Ryan grabs my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Don't think poorly of me," he says. "I love you. How about I go make us some dinner?"

Everything hurts...

I barely noticed when Ryan got up, grabbed his clothes then left. 

I lay there for who knows how long. Maybe hours. I finally stopped crying. I was numb. I couldn't shed any more tears. My heart felt hollow. I thought that I could trust him. I was so very wrong. 

Ryan comes back in, wearing a smile. "Dinner's ready," he tells me, leaning over me. "What are you doing, you silly girl? Get dressed."

Silly girl?

Why is he making light of what he has done to me?

I didn't move, causing my uncle to sigh and pick me up. With his arms now around me, I tensed up. My breathing hitched, my heart was beating fast.

"Oh, Alexa," Ryan says. "Why do you have all these cuts on you? I don't want you hurting yourself anymore, okay? It's a dangerous thing to do."

Now he comments on it. He tells me not to do it, but he literally gave me even more reasons to hurt myself. I couldn't take this. I was suffocating. I wanted him to let go of me, but I was too scared to speak.

"Now be a good girl and put your clothes on, okay?

He was waiting for my response, so I meekly nodded. Anything to get out of his grasp.

Ryan set me down and stared at me. It made me uncomfortable, but I put my clothes on right in front of him, because he wasn't taking his eyes off of me.

Ryan smiles. "Perfect. Now let's go eat."

I stare up at him. He looks like my uncle, but a monster had taken his place.

I did not enjoy writing that at all, but yeah remember how everyone thought Ryan was a pedo when he was first introduced?

Well, you were right. This was the plan from the get go. I am so sorry, please don't hate me--

But yeah, it is called Shattered after all.

Alexa is so close to reuniting with her stepbrothers though!<3