When Love Lasts.

XVI

He laughs.
"Me too"

I sit up, gathering as much courage as I could.
"No Akbar I'm being serious. I really love you, not as a friend or co-worker or even house mate but as a woman. I want to be with you"

He froze completely.
He looked completely and utterly shocked, like he wasn't expecting it.

He suddenly starts laughing "Is this a prank? Have you and Abdul started with your pranks again?"

I shake my head "Id never joke about something like this, confessing is already hard enough"

He just stared at me, wide eyed.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"

He shrugs "What am I supposed to say Safina?"
"Anything, just don't—just not silence"

He huffs.
"Why?"

I scoff "Why? Are you seriously asking me why? Because you love me"

He stands abruptly "Hold up. Hold up. I never said that"
"But you didn't have to"

"But I never showed it either"
"You did. Since the very first day when we made eye contact in the cafeteria, you did. No, you do"

"That's not possible. You misunderstood it all"
I roll my eyes "So what? You don't love me? You don't have an ounce of feeling for me?"

"I do, just not romantically"
I huff in frustration "what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I don't love you as anything but a sister"
I shake my head "That's not possible, I know you do"

He shakes his head with a frown on his face "Safina, I really don't"
"But we can make it work"

He looks at me confused "Why are you saying all this? You know I'm married"

It felt like I was punched in the gut.
"What? You're resorting to lies?"
He tilts his head "Are you pretending you don't know?"

"You're not married"
He nods "Yes I am. To my wife Hameedah. The one I told you about"

"Then where is she?"
"In New York for her PhD"

I shake my head "And you invited me to your home?"
"Yes, she knows. She knows about you and everything that has been going on. Have you listened to anything I have ever said? I never said I was single and I even spoke to my sister in law, her sister right in front of you"

The realization of it all came crashing down, heavily. At that moment it felt like my life had come to an end. I've been living in a fantasy , alone.

I flop on the couch.
"You're married?"

He nods "I am".
"That's why you didn't make advances? Because you didn't want to be unfaithful to your wife"

He shakes his head, squatting infront of me and clasping my hands.
"No, I didn't make advancements because I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with you"

I felt betrayed.
So why did he help me?
Why was he there for me?
To toy with me?
Make fun of me?

"So I was your plaything, for you and Abdul to frolic with"

It made me angry but more importantly it broke my heart, nothing else mattered. The one person I thought really cared about me, it turns out I was a joke. Everyone knew except me.

I just walk out.

::

I lay on my bed crying heavily.
Really hard.

My phone kept vibrating and it was making me really angry.

After a while I finally picked up, it was an unknown number.