Suffocate

Chapter 13

Alex is holding onto my hand while I'm leading him to my car. I feel tingly, in a good way, as his small, amazingly soft fingers curl around mine. It has been a long time since I've last held Alex's hand; especially long since I've held an actual baby or toddler; not since Rona was a baby.

Glancing in the backseat, I curse under my breath when I realize the freakin' obvious: I don't own a car seat.

"Daddy," Alex's voice speaks softly. He tugs on my hand until my attention is given to him.

"Yeah?"

"Where we goin'?" he asks. I ruffle my other hand in his soft hair.

"To the park, Bud."

"Park?"

I nod. Must be a new thing for him. I doubt Amy would take him anywhere she'd get arrested. Don't think park rangers would enjoy a hoochie walkin' around the playground—unless they would, then they're not doing their jobs.

I'm exaggerating. Mostly.

The familiar, loud sound of heels clacking against wooden floorboards distracts my attention from Alex.

There, is Amy, standing at the foot of her door. She smirks at me and levels her gaze.

"I've got one in the house, Baby," she says melodically, a knowing grin plastered on her face. She's not trying to be pretentious, but she's definitely pleased to see herself succeeding at getting on my nerves.

I hold in a sigh. Bending down to pick up Alex, we enter the house again.

Sitting Alex down on the large couch chair, I pat his knee. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna get your car seat."

Alex's hazel eyes widen. "What's that?" he asks excitedly. I chuckle at him.

"It's where your little butt goes when we're in the car. Keeps you safe." Alex stares at me and giggles. I don't know what he finds so funny, but as long as he's amused, I'm fine by it.

Probably because I said "butt".

Luckily, the car seat was already out of the box it came from and set up. Now, all I had to do was hook it up and strap in the three-year-old.

Once that's all done and Alex is safely secure in his seat, which is right behind mine, I start our drive to the park.

It's only five-thirty in the afternoon, so it shouldn't be too much of a bother to go to the park. The sky hasn't even darkened that much, either.

Pulling up to the park, I feel relieved at the sight of other children around, screaming and laughing happily while they run around crazily. My eyes scan the area, just in case I happen to run into anyone I may know. So far, no little sisters and annoying older brothers are around; so that's a good sign.

Sighing heavily, I proceed to venture in my thoughts. I just want to spend some time with Alex before taking him back home. No one can know yet. Having a kid in the mix of all of this—I might as well lock myself away in a cell and repeatedly claim "I'm insane." Because, this is crazy.

Alex is already here, walking and talking, and has been for nearly three whole years. I was going to wait until I had a house in my own name, but, that dream is so far away; I'm not even making enough money to pay off a house.

Although, I could look into renting . . .

"Daddy, look!" Alex screams suddenly. His voice rings loudly in my ears. Ignoring the screech that is stuck on replay, I turn to face my young son.