Suffocate

Chapter 14

"So you lied to us?" Mare says accusingly.

"Mare, I didn't—"

"—Bryson, you did. You kept this from everyone."

"Mare, you gotta understand . . . Y'all were too young to know."

Marissa shrugs her shoulders and runs a hand through her curly hair.

"So you do know Amy?" I nod my head.

"Yes."

"She's Alex's . . . mom?" I nod again. "Does Mom know you

two—?"

"—She doesn't." Marissa sighs heavily. I can feel her disappointment oozing out.

"This is big, you know," she says matter-of-factly. I reach over Alex's sleeping form between us to rub Mare's knee.

"I know that, Mare." I look from my sister to Alex, both comfortably resting on my bed. I'm the only one who's not feeling content. "Nobody knows. Mom doesn't know, Dad doesn't know. Kade and Kailum don't know. . . . Sapphire doesn't know, either."

Marissa half-scoffs, half-gasps at me. "Bryson, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I open my mouth to respond but Marissa puts her hand up. I blink at her, shocked.

She's always been one to be very confronting, I know that, but I've never seen her so angry before. I can't believe this.

"Who's taking care of him?" Mare asks, gesturing to Alex. I divert my eyes from hers, taking a moment to glare at myself in the mirror hanging from my closet door.

"Amy."

"Amy, a woman who none of us knows and is friends with Mom. She's taking care of your kid?" I glare at Marissa.

"Marissa, please, for the love of God," I hiss out. "You're acting like I abandoned him and betrayed everyone. Have you forgotten that Mom's been a deadbeat and Dad left our asses? I had to get a job and pay bills, I put food on the table, and I'm the one takin' care of you, Chas, Ashley, and Verona! I fucking do that!" Marissa stares at me, her jaw clenching and arms folded across her chest.

"I know that, Bryson," Marissa grumbles. I shake my head at her.

"You seem like you don't." I spit angrily. "I get it, I make mistakes. But that doesn't mean for you to jump at me when I haven't done anything— anything—to hurt you." I rub my hand across my face in frustration. I lean back against the wall and breathe.

"I . . . I don't know what to say, Bryson," Marissa says quietly.

"Mare, please . . ." I turn to face her. "You can say whatever the hell you want."

Alex starts to stir, mumbling random sounds. I gently pull him up against me and cradle his body close. "Go back to sleep," I whisper.

"I'm gonna go to my room," Marissa says, standing slowly from the bed. She looks at me with sad eyes before leaving.

Once my door is closed again, I let out a curse, banging my head against the wall.

"Goddammit."

***

I get shut-eye for almost twenty minutes. My sleep-induced state is interrupted due to a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I call from the bed. I look down at my lap and see Alex, wide awake. I'm surprised he's all quiet. He could've woken me up and disturb my sleep, but he didn't. Interesting.