The Man You Think I Am- Beefleaf

1 We've Grown to Close

He Xuan pov

[we've grown to close...why have I allowed him to get so close?]

My fingers comb through Shi Quingxuan's silk like hair, im sat on my bed with him sitting between my knees on the floor, fiddling with his fan.

[I'm here to gather information for Crimson Rain and lessen my debt...not to spend idle time here with him of all people...]

Though my mind is somewhere else, my fingers never stop running through his hair like clockwork. He showed up one night at "my" door unannounced, not wanting to blow my cover I foolishly allowed the numbskull in. Now, he's made a routine out of coming to "my" palace to visit "me", coming back the next night without me asking him to.

[...but not once have I asked him to stay away. Why is that? ]

I feel a lump in my throat, for a second i forget how to breath.

"MING YI! My goodness are you okay?"

My eyes widen in shock as his soft hands cup my face, "Wha-" I start, my breaths still labored as his sudden movements catch me off guard. He is sitting up on his knees now facing me, his fan tossed haphazardly to the side as a worried expression paints his face.

I stare at him blankly for a moment before slapping my palm over my face,

[ The fuck was that? Ghosts don't fucking need to breath. ]

Now its Shi Quingxuans turn to stare at me with wide eyes as he tries to pry my hand from across my forehead. He's like a little kid trying to lift my fingers one by one. I cant help but let out a dry chuckle at his actions and my own stupidity .

[ Me, Black Water Sinking Ships, one of the Four Calamities whos killed thousands with a straight face struggling to catch the breath he doesn't need because what? Im allowing this moron to follow me around to not blow my cover? ]

"First you space out letting me ramble on like an idiot for who knows how long, then I hear you gasping for air like your being suffocated? I swear to god Ming, whats gotten into you?" I decide to let him move the hand that covering my face, unable to stop the ends of my lips from twitching as I hear the worry in his voice.

All I can do is sigh, "Shi, for heavens sake your a god. Who are you swearing to?" I keep my lips pressed in a thing line as an embarrassed blush creeps over his face.

"Oh shush," he playfully slaps my cheek with the hand thats still resting on my face, "I was worried okay? Are you seriously gonna' criticize me for being a good friend?"

"Such a good friend inviting yourself into my palace every night..." I mumble, though technically I'm the one showing up in someone else's palace every day.

He pouts and makes a huffing sound, "is my bestest friend in all the heavens telling me hes sick of seeing me?"

"..."

"...we all know youd rather spend time with His Highness that Scrap Immortal..."

Without thinking I find those words slipping out of my mouth. Whats worse is I hear a pang of something that resembles jealousy in my voice as a say it.

I mentally curse myself.

[what the fuck is wrong with me? Im a supreme ghost king for fucks sake.  Why am I suddenly acting like Hua Cheng when he sees his Scrap Prince?]

Thats when it dawns on me.

A playful grin crosses Shi's face before he springs up and tackles me onto the bed. Hes much weaker than me, in terms of physical strength and spiritual powers, yet I allow myself to fall back limply onto the mattress. He hugs his arms around my waist and lays his head by my shoulder.

"Is someone jealous?" He giggles.

"..."

"Ooh, don't worry. I can always tell Xie to back off me because u want me alllll~ to yourself." He kids, I just lay their staring at the ceiling. Noticing how everything in the heavens is so pollinated and pristine, no cracks or grime like there id in the ghosts realm.

"Your far to impulsive for your own good. Your not a child your a The Wind Master. Your a god, Shi. And if you keep acting like this your going to get yourself hurt."

[who am I to lecture this man about his safety? Warning him that hes bound to get hurt when I'm the one who wants him and his bastard brother dead the most?]

Five minutes pass without a response. It isn't until I hear the slowed rhythm of his heartbeat that I realize hes fallen asleep.

[He's laying here so defenses. Ive gotten him to let his guard down around me, now all I have to do is strike and he would be gone. I could crush him to sand beneath my foot, make that damn Shi Wudu beg for mercy as he watches his own brother suffer the consequences for stealing the life that was so rightfully mine all those centuries ago....]

My body breaks into a cold sweat as my hand finds its way to his neck, memories from that blood filled night fill my vision. My fingers wrap around his skin forming a chokehold, all I have to do is apply a little pressure then I would finally have the revenge I've waited so long for...

Shi starts to turn in his sleep, making my grip on his neck tighter. I hear him let out a pained whimper and a sharp pain stabs at my chest. My hand instantly loosens from his neck as my body goes limp. I find myself once agin staring at the ceiling. Hes still asleep and there is no wound in my chest. I lay there grasping at straws ti explain what could have cause that pain.

"Fuck" I mumble below my breath.

"I really have let myself get to close. I don't give a shit that I'm a ghost, I swear Shi Quingxuan your going to be the death of me..."