The Man You Think I Am- Beefleaf

3 Fallen For a God

"...Ming"

"Leave" my harsh tone greatly contrasts the quite caution in his own voice. I dont even try to explain myself, what am I going to do? Apologize for almost strangling him in his sleep? Whoopsie, my bad.

"Are you okay? Whats-whats up with you, Ming im getting worried-"

"Can a person really be so naive? I almost strangled you and you come running back to my side like a dog. Now you say your worried about me? Where the sense in that?"

"..I know you must have seen some thing during your life, it's normal to-"

"The hell are you to justify my actions? The fuck if it was me reliving some traumatic event IT WAS ME FUCKING STRANGLING YOU! I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU AND YOU COME RUNNING AFTER ME, NOT TO GET ME BACK BUT TO JUSTIFY IT? I WAS ABOUT TO KILL YOU YOU MORON!"

He stands there fiddling his fingers, his face is still colorless from being choked, his feet are wobbly which doesn't pair well with his natural clumsiness. He stumbles over his own feet. I can practically see the mess of thoughts crashing through his head as he attempts to find a logical reason to explain this.

"...ming-" his voice cracks, "Ming I-"

"Dont bother, leave." My voice has no emotion. Its harsh, flat and empty.

[Ive wanted to bring both you and your brother pain for so long. Ill get my revenge on that Water Tyrant  with you having no choice but to watch.]

[this is what Ive planned for since my death...so why does it hurt so much to see you in such a state? To know Ive caused this?]

"Ming its because I-I..."

"Stop calling me that. Thats not me."

His brows furrow, "What do you-"

"Leave." I turn to walk past him, "I mean it this time Shi."

"I wont." His voice is less shaky, and his words are firm.

I scowl. If he stays much longer Im bound to either do or say something I'll regret. "Shi Quingxuan leave the temple of the Earth Master. Im not asking."

He takes a breath, "I wont."

"Why must you be so childish? Cant you see your in danger just being near me?"

"And cant you see Ive made up my mind?" He raises his voice to match mine, taking a step towards me.

[Moron. Idiot. Stubborn. I could kill you right now if I wanted to just leave!]

I continue forward to walk out the door. If he wont leave I will. I already basically blew my cover, theres  no need to fuck it up anymore than I have.

"WAIT!" He calls, his voice urgent and desperate as he latches on to my sleeve. "I-"

Its like a small child pocking at a wasps nest. He doesn't know how much I'm holding my self back right now, I feel as though Im going to snap any moment.

[I could. I want to. This is my perfect opportunity. He's right here.]

"Ming I.." I feel his grip tighten as he fidgets with the fabric if my sleeve, "...I love you. Im not leaving."

I put my hand over his and forcefully push it to the side. The sleeve tears but I couldn't care less, Shi notices and a guilty look spreads over his face. He rushes to attempt and fix it but I slap his hand away before he can reach it.

He stares at me with a tomato red face, a mix of embarrassment and guilt, then the floor.

"No Shi. You dont love me." I spit, "you love him."

Taking long strides, I exit the garden leaving Shi dumbstruck and frozen in place. I hear his footsteps as he stumbles around before beginning to trail behind me.

"Nothing good will come out of you following me. For your safety I recommend you stop while your ahea-" 

"I meant it Ming. I love you." A sharp determination fills his voice, "I-I don't know what you mean when you say I love him, I don't know who this 'him' is. But what I do know is that, who are you to tell me how I feel? It was my decision, and I chose to love you."

If it was anyone else I would scold them for cutting me off, but I just cant bring myself to. I suppress the way my stomach churns, focusing less on the meaning of his words and more on his actions. As I turn my head back to him, I notice he takes a small, wary step away, "Fine then. Follow me, see what happens. I've warned you."

"I-I will." He meets my eyes for a second, before quickly lowering his gaze to avert mine.

I continue forward for a moment, but when there is no sound of him following behind me I pause. "Oh~? Whats this?"

I turn on my heels then start walking, this time towards him. Taking long steps to close the distance, I watch him subtly flinch as I approach, now directly in front of him looking down on his face.

"Why act so cautious?" I say with a sly smirk, "I thought you loved me?"

"I-I do." His voice is different from before, it grows increasingly quiet and unsure.

"Just to be clear," My hand slowly extends to caress his cheek, he stares at me as his face flushes red. None the less, he seems to have his guard up, "the one you love is me?"

I watch the up and down movement of Shi's throat as he gulps, nodding his head to say yes. I smile.

"Well then," my hand moves down his cheek to his chin, I tilt it up forcing him to once again meet my eyes. "Ill hold you to it, my love~"