Amends In Your Arms

SS: Humdard (part 3)

Her laugh as she chased him around their room on multiple occasions. Her smile every time he came home from work. The way she took his hand in her's every time he was even the slightest bit upset. The way she always hid her tears so that he would not get hurt. How beautiful she looked on their wedding day. How beautiful she looked each morning she woke up. Her voice. The first time he heard it. How she gently rocked him to sleep. Her making him dance and giggle and live life like no one else ever could. Her innocence. Her goodness. Her heart...

The memories flashed through his mind as he saw the words on the paper in front of him. The memories haunted him like he could have never imagined. Abhi felt the file slip out from his fingers as he carefully walked towards Akshu, grabbing her hand as delicately as possible. He kissed her palm over and over again, beginning to sob...beginning to feel his entire being shatter. 

"Akshu...Mein tumhe kuch nahi hone doonga...Akshu..." he said in between his cries. He was a cardiac surgeon. The best in town. People came to him from all across the country...he cured hundreds of patients in the blink of an eye...he detected what was wrong with them before they themselves knew they were sick. But now, his entire world was laying in front of him...her body trembling, her breaths shallow...her heart fighting for its every beat...her heart suffering from something that was so rare, so unheard of that he had barely studied it in medical school...how cruel was his fate...their fate. 

As he saw her begin to gain consciousness, he forced himself to keep his composure. It was time for him to be her greatest strength, her greatest anchor. He could not fall weak...he had to hold steady for the both of them. She slowly opened her eyes, smiling at the sight of him. 

"Abhi..." she said softly. 

"Akshu, tum kuch mat bolo. Tumhe aram ki zarurat hai. Please." He answered, gently patting her forehead, pulling the blanket up above her chest to make sure she was fully covered. He had no idea how he was going to tell her what had happened...this was possibly the hardest thing he would ever have to do. But, he knew that he could not keep this from her...he knew he had to confide in her immediately....as a doctor and as a husband. 

"Abhi, mujhe kya huya hai? Mein yahan kaisi aayi? Mujhe kuch yaad nahi aa raha..."

"Akshu, tum washroom mein behosh hogayi thi..."

Akshu looked at him confused, trying to recall the incidents from earlier in the day, but unable to remember. 

"Akshu, relax..." He said gently, not wanting her to take any stress. 

"Acha, Askhu...tum mujhe batao...tum kitni dino se bemar feel ho rahi ho? Mujhe pata tha ki tum theek nahi ho liken phir bhi mein ne kuch nahi kiya...I'm so sorry Akshu...I'm so sorry..." He said, sniffling, doing everything in his power to stop himself from crying. 

Akshu wiped away his tears and brought his face to her lips, tenderly kissing his cheek. "Abhi, tum sorry kyun bol rahe ho? Mujhe kuch nahi huya hai. Dekho, mein bilkul theek hoon." she said, pinching his hand, trying to cheer him up. 

"Wahi toh problem hai Akshu...tum theek nahi ho." Abhi whisphered, laying down beside her and pulling her onto his chest, making sure not to unhook any of the machines. His hand trembled as he rested his hand on her heart, feeling it beating as his one and only  lifeline...

"Akshu yeh dil bara hi kamzor hota hai..." 

"Liken tum ho na mere dil kilye." She responded, softly running her hand through his hair, unsure as to what was going on through his mind. 

"Akshu, mujhe tum ko kuch batana hai." 

"Haan bolo, Abhi." 

"Akshu...tumhe...tuhme..." His voice quaked.

Akshu started to get nervous, realizing that something horrible had happened...something that had left her husband entirely shaken to the core. But, she took a deep breath and lightly stroked his shoulders, telling him that whatever it was, they would face it together...telling him to not be afraid, to please just reveal whatever was going on inside of him. 

"Akshu tumhe cancer hai...heart cancer..." he said, digging his face into her hair before she could hear him cry. 

Akshu felt her entire body go numb. For weeks she had been telling herself that everything was okay...that she was not sick...just tired. For weeks, she had been building a wall of false hope around her. She felt her mouth go dry, unable to find the words to respond. And as she she sensed the love of her life shaking beneath her, there was one thing that scared her most...losing her time with him...having to leave him behind forever...

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A note from the author: For everyone interested in learning about heart cancer and how prevalent it is, feel free to google what malignant cardiac tumors are. I know this is just a story, but I think that it is important to do your research before labeling certain illnesses as "nonexistent", because there are real human beings impacted by these tragedies. 

xoxo

Pooja