Clandestine

Thirty- One

MAYA

At first, I thought I was just being silly. There was no way that the man could be following me. Surely he's just headed in the same direction and I'm just being paranoid. "Let's go, Monie," I beckoned to the dog. I'm just being silly.

I stopped feeling silly when I turned yet another corner with two men behind me instead of one.

I'll call Minnie, just to be safe. Joon was likely in a meeting or the studio; besides, I wasn't too far from home. I sped up as I dialed my sister's number. Monie trotted along, keeping pace with me and I pulled his leash a little tighter to keep him close.

"You've reached Kim Gyeongmin, leave a message-" Shit.

Relax, Maya. I told myself. Just focus on getting home. Don't overthink.

There were more people now. I hadn't noticed when they'd joined what had started out as a quick walk around the neighborhood. I had noticed, however, the quick flash that could only have come from a camera.

Panic welled up inside me like gas brewing and waiting for a spark to ignite. As I turned the last corner the spark caught.

A small crowd had gathered in front of the condo building. The security guard was trying his best to make sense of the situation, urging paparazzi and reporters to leave the residents alone. There was nowhere for me to go with people trailing close behind and people ahead, no doubt waiting for me.

I tightened my grip on Monie's leash before grabbing him up, holding my head down as I willed myself to make it home. But how could this be home anymore?

Within minutes, everything that Joon and I had built up together came crumbling down. The nursery meant for the baby growing inside me, the first bed we had shared in a place of our own, the time spent putting together what was supposed to be our future all felt like liquid seeping through my hands and pooling at my feet making each step heavier as I trudged forward through the mess of it all.

"Is it her?"

"Are you Kim Maya?"

"Hey, look over here!"

"Are you his wife?"

A cacophony of voices sounded off around me. Keep moving. I pressed on trying to steady myself. Breathe. Yet with every breath my throat threatened to swell up, a mixture of tears and emotion and anger and confusion. Years of not being able to be with my husband for months and near years at a time because it was too dangerous. Late nights in different time zones and hotel rooms and so many secrets joined in a whirlpool of bodies and thoughts around me as I struggled onward, murky water up to my neck as I continued to push through.

Please.

I couldn't tell if I'd fallen into the gate, been pushed through by the surging crowd behind me, or if I'd been pulled inside by the security guard, but I let out a ragged gasp as I crashed onto my hands and knees. Monie jumped from my arms to circle me, barking at the mass of noise and chaos behind me. I clutched my chest desperate for air as I fought my way back to the condo, body on fire with panic and fear and everything else as I made it inside, locking the door swiftly behind me and sliding to the floor.

All at once it broke free; hot tears streaming down my face and a cold shiver of complex emotion running up and down my spine.

I don't know how long I sat there, heaving and sobbing before the frantic ringing of my phone drew me back into the space I once called home. "Baby! Thank God! Are you okay? Are you safe?!"

Joon.

"How did this happen?" I cried out, voice hoarse and frayed like torn paper. "How did they find us?"