Walking Through Flames

Chapter Five

January 15th. I'm in school again. I'm tired. Last night I spent my time on call with Elijah watching a movie. I kept falling asleep by a certain time so we ended up saying our goodbyes and leaving before the movie finished. Charlie didn't call at all so I just went straight to sleep. It was getting easier to deal with Charlie not wanting to hang out now that I could hang out with a friend when he's busy. Honestly it might just be I'm losing feelings for him. That night on call with Elijah and Reese was eventful. I'll give you a recap. 

After joining the call Elijah and I went straight onto Val. Reese didn't join us as she doesn't have the game. She was acting slightly off so I texted her to ask what was wrong. She had responded saying her boyfriend had gotten into another argument with her and she thought she was losing feelings. She added that she had gained them for someone else and wouldn't say who. I knew. It was obvious. From how they were with her constant flirting and hugs. They gave each other gifts and he gave her his necklace. I knew I didn't stand a chance and it didn't matter. After a while I finally got it out of her. Elijah. She had feelings for him, only small. But she felt so incredibly guilty about it and she felt worse for talking to me about it. I helped her lighten the load by admitting I had felt something for someone other than Charlie but they were gone now. They were. I never had actual feelings for Elijah. Honestly I think it was just the fact that I had a good friend and that was unusual to me. Yeah he treats me better than Charlie, but it's a friendly way. Okay I can't explain the butterflies when he compliments me or laughs at my jokes but I can't have feelings for him. Reason number one, Charlie. And that's a damn big reason. Number two now, Reese has feelings for him. I'd rather her be happy over me anyday.

He's all yours. I type. We both giggle in the call and Elijah remains completely oblivious. I stare at him for a moment and upon catching myself my eyes flick back to Reese's face. She has a soft smile as she holds up her phone to make me check my messages. I do. 
You can have him love, you deserve something good. I see the way you look at him. Stop denying your feelings. We both smile at each other. Elijah asks what's happening and we both say it's nothing and laugh again. And that's how that went.

Anyway, school. Present. Stop thinking about the past. But it's so hard not to mid geography class. It's so beyond boring. I have one friend here, Lila. If you could even call her a friend. She doesn't really talk to me but we had one little moment in the bathroom once. We had gone into a stall together on the break of a double class so she could vape. She offered me a puff and I declined. I was always against it. She then put the vape in her pocket and approached me, using her arms to pin me to the stall wall. She leaned in to kiss me and I pulled my head back before she could and grinned. "First, I'm taken. Second, I'm not a bottom, love." I ducked under her arm and unlocked the stall door, holding it open for her as she scoffed and followed. "It was worth a shot." Since then we can at least mess with each other in class when we're doing work. It's a playful flirty friendship and we don't speak outside of this classroom. I pull my chair next to hers now and she gives me the sideye.

"I love your nails." I say, trying to spark conversation. She ignores me, turning her hand over and hiding her nails. We sat without conversation, listening to the lecture. I feel a breeze over my thigh and glance over as her hand returns to it's position on her desk. We both grin giving each other the side eye. "You really couldn't ignore me if you tried huh?" I whisper.
"It's hard to ignore someone when they take up your mind whenever you're around them."
"Is that your way of saying I talk too much?"
"That's my way of saying you don't talk en-"
She's cut off by a slam on the board. We both jump in our seats, startled by the noise. Our teacher was staring at us. We waited for him to say something, knowing full well we were the ones who got his attention. "Could you girls please save the flirting for after class?" The boys behind us laughed and Lila blushed, hard. 
"You know sir, if you're jealous you can just say so." The rest of the class did a syncronized "oooooo"  Lila looked significantly more comfortable. That's all I wanted. Our teacher pointed to the door, holding eye contact with me. I stood up and left, going straight to the year head's office. That was where he would send me if he had used his words. I look through the window to her office. Empty. I sigh. As I sat on the chair outside her office my phone pinged.
MOTHER: I have covid. Coming to pick you up now.
Good timing. I text Charlie to meet me when class ends at the front door. The bell was to go in a few minutes anyway.

Charlie met me at the front door. I had explained why I had to go home and he hugged me, despite the fact that I may be ill and also the fact that he was nearly crying laughing. I was supposed to go to Dublin with Cara on Thursday. I'd have to pass on it. Charlie walked me to the car where my mother was and gave me a kiss. I made him promise to call me later. 

I sat at home playing games with an online friend. Reese was at school and Elijah was working so I was bored out of my mind. My phone lit up with a text. 
ELIJAH: Hey, I know you said you were going to Dublin with Cara on Thursday but I'm off and I was wondering if you'd want to go with me? 
I was actually dreading going with Cara so having to cancel earlier today wasn't that big of a deal. Don't get me wrong, she's great. I'm just not the type of person to attend protests. I informed Elijah of my mother having Covid and he told me to ask her anyway. I sighed and went downstairs wearing a mask. She saw me coming down the hall and told me not to get close. 
"Can I still go to Dublin?" I asked, getting straight to the point. She laughed, thinking I was joking. "I'm not joking. Please?" She stopped laughing and her mouth hung open.
"Tara no, I have Covid so I can't leave to drop you to the train station." That made sense so I left it as was, knowing I couldn't get any further with that conversation. 

Later that night I was on a call with Elijah again. Charlie had cancelled on me because he was busy with his friends. My mother came into my room and announced she was going to her boyfriend's house. Elijah and I both sat silently in confusion. She remained in my doorway.
"You what?" I asked in disbelief.
"I'm going to my boyfriend's house." She repeated without seeing an issue. "Is there a problem?" I waited for her to realise what she was saying but chose not to point it out as I could use it to my advantage.
"So if you can leave and you actually have Covid, can I leave with a negative antigen?" She inhaled a deep breath and I watched her think it over. There was no way she could say no here, she was already breaking the rules and it was hypocrisy to say I couldn't do it. If my mother hates anything it's hypocrisy which is ironic considering how big of a hypocrite she is. This time though she realises the situation is one she cannot manipulate.
"If you can get there yourself without my help. Sure."
And with that she left my room and the house. I was home alone again. Now with my mother having covid and my stepfather not living near me I had no way of getting to a train station on Thursday. I very well couldn't ask my grandfather as he would be at risk of getting sick. It was only a slight dilemma. It shouldn't have bothered me as much as it did to not be able to go somewhere with Elijah, but it did and I needed to do something to fix that. We talked the situation over and eventually came to two possibilities. One. We don't go and I spent my Thursday how I would be spending the rest of my week. At home, on my own doing absolutely nothing fun or productive. Now that would just be depressing. Or option two. Have Elijah's mother pick me up on Wednesday, stay over at his house and she'd drop us to the station in the morning. Option one is the morally correct one. Charlie would definitely not be okay with me staying at Elijah's house and it would look horrible on me as a partner. However Elijah had stated that he would sleep on the couch and stay away from me physically if it made me comfortable. That and I hadn't been out with friends at all in a long time besides when I went out with Elijah the last time. So my childish, naive heart made me agree.