Sunshine - DNF

🪐Nothing 🪐

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Dream was mindlessly scrolling through his social media. George was laying down next to him.
"Hey Dream?" He whispered softly. Dream hummed in response. "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if…" He trailed off for a moment and shook his head. "Never mind."
"Hey, what're you thinking?" Dream asked.
"Nothing," he lied. He didn't feel comfortable telling Dream about what he'd been thinking, especially since he knew Dream wouldn't approve of those kind of thoughts. He liked to think that Dreams' approval meant more to him than others. But he was starting to think Dream was just too oblivious to notice when someone was into him.
"Okay. If you're sure you don't want to talk about it, then it's fine. It doesn't matter anyway."
George felt his heart flutter a little. He loved hearing Dream talk like that. Even though he usually hated when Dream talked about things like this, sometimes it did wonders for his feelings. It always seemed to ease away any worries and make him a lot happier. Dream was such an amazing guy. How could George possibly deserve him? He sighed quietly, pulling himself closer to Dream.
"Don't think so hard. Just relax. You'll figure everything out eventually." Dream wrapped his arm around George and squeezed him tightly. George smiled and leaned into Dreams chest. This had become a regular routine between the two boys now; whenever one of them was anxious about something, they'd just talk and try to help each other out. Sometimes the only thing that worked better than listening to Dream ramble on about how beautiful the ocean was was simply listening to his heartbeat.
He fell asleep soon after, feeling safe and protected in the arms of Dream.
***
As George stirred awake, he noticed the sun was already shining brightly through the window. He turned over to see Dream still sleeping peacefully next to him and he smiled slightly. He slowly got out of bed and grabbed his backpack which was thrown over the chair. He slung it over his shoulder and exited the room quietly. George decided to get some coffee and spent some time in the park before his classes  He sat on a bench near the edge of the fountain and began to drink his coffee. He felt extremely tired from yesterday and the day had probably already started so he wanted to take advantage of the quiet. He finished the rest of his coffee and tossed it into the trash bin near the entrance of the park. He stood up and stretched, taking his sweet time to make his way towards class.
As he walked through the hallways he saw a certain blonde boy sitting alone in the classroom with his face buried in his hands. His body tensed up and he quickly ran to the bathroom. He locked himself in a stall and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He took deep breaths trying to calm his shaking body as he felt tears form in his eyes. Why was he crying? What's wrong with him? Is it because of the conversation earlier? What happened yesterday? Was it just another one of his stupid daydreams?
When all of these questions were running through his mind, he heard a knock on the stall door.
"George?" A quiet voice said. It was Dream.
"Go away!" He snapped. The blonde didn't respond. Instead, he continued to push on the door. Eventually, he gave up and left the room, leaving George in peace. George leaned his head against the wall and slid down to the floor. Tears began streaming down his face and he let out a muffled sob. Why was he acting weird? Everything was so different this year. No matter where he went, no matter who he met or talked to, he always had to pretend everything was okay. Everything was fake. He never knew why. He always tried to keep everything normal, he really did, but somehow everything felt so much worse every time. Every single damn person, not knowing the truth hurt like hell.
Why did everyone have to be so damn happy all the time? He was so sick of it. Everyone else was so happy when he felt bad or upset, so why should he be any different? He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly as he cried harder. Everything hurt.
It wasn't long before George was completely broken. There was nothing that could help him, no one who cared. It felt so unfair, so unjust, but most of all it hurt. So, he finally gave up. All his walls came crashing down, leaving only the empty shell behind. It was finally too much. He cried so hard that he forgot how to breathe for a minute. Finally, he managed to pull himself together enough to stand up and walk unsteadily over to a nearby sink. He splashed water onto his face and dried it as best he could with a paper towel. After he felt like he wouldn't fall apart again, he opened the stall door and made his way back to his class.
As soon as he got there Dream immediately ran to him.
"What's wrong!? Are you okay?!" George looked into his face, hoping that his expression might give him an answer as to what happened, but there wasn't anything. He didn't look mad or upset. He seemed confused as well.
"I'm sorry… I just-" he stuttered as he tried to find words to say. "Dream, please, just leave me alone!" he finally exclaimed, snapping. Dream backed off and frowned.
"But-"
Before Dream could say anything else, George was walking away from him. After all the classes goerge wanted to run home as fast as possible. As soon as his feet hit the sidewalk he broke into a sprint. He ran until he reached his house. He climbed into his room and slammed the door closed behind him. He layed down onto his bed and cried uncontrollably.
A couple hours passed by and he still hadn't stopped sobbing. All he wanted right now was Dream. And he couldn't seem to get him out of his mind, even after what just happened. It was frustrating him to no end. All George wanted was Dream and he didn't know why he couldn't have both. He wanted the love and care of Dream and yet he couldn't have him. He kept repeating the same phrase over and over in his head like a mantra: 'what the fuck is going on with me?'
It felt like his world was spinning out of control, spinning until it was completely shattered.
He sat up and wiped the tears from his face. He didn't want to continue thinking about this anymore, so he stood up and walked over to his desk. He grabbed his notebook and sat down facing it. Maybe he needed to draw his emotions down and try and explain what was happening to himself. Maybe he need to understand why all this was happening to him. Maybe he was having some sort of mental breakdown.
After scribbling several pages into his notebook, he realized he was drawing nothing at all. He didn't even notice it until he flipped the page over to reveal half of his blank sheet. He looked down and read the word "nothing". Then he flipped it over to reveal that same word written across the top again.
Then he started drawing again. Nothing. More nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Everything was pointless.
Everything was empty.
Everything was just nothing.
The words continued to float across his page, repeating over and over and over until he was screaming bloody murder. He grabbed the sketchbook and threw it across the room, destroying any remaining hope he may have had in whatever state he was in.
He felt dizzy. He couldn't tell if it was from exhaustion or from lack of oxygen.
"Fuck..." he thought as he stumbled towards his closet to get his hoodie and headphones. He needed to escape.
He slipped the headphones on as he stepped outside onto his front porch, glad he didn't hear any movement inside. He put on his headphones and listened to music as he leaned against the railing of his porch, staring into space. He felt numb as he stared out into the night sky. Stars twinkled in the distance and he smiled. They looked so pretty...so peaceful. But then all of a sudden, they suddenly looked so sad.  His smile vanished as he watched as the stars faded away bit by bit, leaving his sight filled with endless blackness.

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