Sunshine - DNF

🌺Carnations🌺

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George was  having a bad week. It had started off perfectly fine: school went well, the weather was nice, he made some friends and even went on a date with Dream. Then came lunch. The food tasted bland and he ended up eating nothing but water. And when that was over he just wanted to sleep. But the next day, he woke up feeling terrible again and then the next day it was worse. George decided to take a walk after class and just let all this negative energy out. It was already friday. George didn't really feel like going to school, so he decided to skip school for today. He decided to rest till lunch. He didn't really do anything besides cooking and finishing some school assignments for the next week. Once he was done he checked the time on the kitchen clock : 15:55pm. Perfect timing. George grabbed his keys, jacket, put on his shoes  and headed outside. He walked aimlessly around town, trying to relax and clear his mind. He remember the day he talked with Wilbur about what was bothering him. His mind was replaying the entire thing over and over again. Not missing a detail. He also remembered that his friend was smoking, which was unlikely for someone like him.  He couldn't remember if he said anything weird about it or not because he was too focused on the conversation itself. Well, whatever. All he knew was that he was worried and that he needed someone to talk to. He wasn't sure why exactly that thought popped into his head but it did. He knew what kind of effects smoking has and thought maybe just maybe smoking would bring him  back to normal. He had tried to tell himself that he didn't need cigarettes to be happy. After all, there's so much better things he can do with his life right now, but then again...He shook his head and continued walking down the sidewalk. If only he could get rid of all these thoughts. There were so many of them, each one stronger than the last. He kept thinking back to the last few times he smoked a cigarette. The first one was during meeting with Wilbur,  after the conversation they had.  The second was when he took a deep drag of the cigarette in Wilbur's backyard when he couldn't sleep, but that's all. Well maybe he could give it a shot, but he doesn't know where to start. And even though he knows smoking isn't good for you, he needs something to calm his nerves. That is, if he doesn't find something more distracting to think about, anyway. He stopped by a tobacco store, he was nervous even though he already turned 18. He didn't know what brand to look at or how to choose and so he bought two packs instead. He paid for them and left the store, carrying both packs in his hand. He felt better after paying for the cigarettes (he should've got something for the vending machine). He felt a bit lighter but still a bit anxious. His hands were shaking. His breathing was fast. He tried to stop the shaking and just breathe normally. He looked up towards the sky. It was cloudy, which suited him just fine. He breathed slowly, letting go of all his anxiety. It was raining, but only slightly. The raindrops fell softly onto his skin, leaving no mark. He felt good enough. He continued walking, looking up at the sky. The air felt crisp. He enjoyed the feeling of the cold rain hitting his face. The drops seemed to be falling on a specific point on his face. He wondered what it was. Was it the raindrops themselves? Or was it the rain that hit his face, making it look like that particular spot? George smiled. He loved the way the drops fell on his face, they felt different than the ones that touched his body, like they were different from the rain itself. They seemed to have an essence to them. He liked it. He laughed to himself. Maybe he was getting too philosophical, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. So he kept smiling and thinking about the rain. He finally arrived home. Before entering he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, letting the cool rain wash away any stress he might be feeling from earlier. He opened his eyes and headed straight for his room. He set his stuff on his desk and sat down, opening one of the packets of cigarettes. It felt good to hold something in his hand again, even if it was just a cigarette. It helped him relax. He took the lighter from his desk and light the cigarette.He took a drag from it and sighed happily. He took another drag. A small smile appeared on his face. He exhaled. He put it out and took a drink of water. He picked up his sketchbook and drew the first thing he thought of : carnations.  Carnations are flowers and he likes flowers. Flowers aren't boring. He likes nature and he thinks that it can be beautiful. He draws roses, daisies, lilies, tulips, irises, peonies...anything that he thinks can be beautiful. He continues drawing. He draws a lot of flowers. Some of them he thinks are beautiful but there are also some that are sad looking or ugly looking, or plain. He tries to draw everyone, but sometimes he just can't make them out properly, especially when he gets frustrated because he has no idea who they're supposed to be. But he keeps doing it.After a while he was finished, he really liked the way he drew those carnations. They looked beautiful in that drawing. He looked at his work critically. He looked happy. He was happy. His mind drifted to other thoughts and he began talking to himself again. "It's okay to smoke in moderation," he told his self. "You don't have to worry about being judged. Everyone has a different opinion. You're allowed to express your opinions and your feelings." He smiled. He liked that saying. It was reassuring. He stood up and placed his sketches on his table. He opened his window a little. He enjoyed the sound of rain hitting the glass and the wind blowing the curtains in front of it. He listened for a bit longer. The rain was coming down steadily and he enjoyed the sound of the rain against the window. He could almost pretend that it was a car passing by and that he was sitting by the window waiting for the rain to stop. George was in heaven. He closed his window. He leaned back on the bed and looked outside the window. He was still smiling to himself. Just as he was beginning to drift off to sleep, he heard his phone ring. George sat up quickly in his bed and picked up his phone. He saw the caller ID and answered, "Hello, Wilbur?" "Yeah, George. Is everything alright?", the boy on the phone asked. "Yeah, yeah. Why?", George replied. "Well I'm just wondering how you're doing, you know..." The boy paused a bit and added "because it's been a while since we hung out..." George chuckled. "It's fine.", he reassured Wilbur. "What are you doing now?". "Nothing much, honestly. Just lying here.", George explained. "Really? That seems pretty boring."What do you mean by that?", George questioned. "Well...I'm bored..." Wilbur confessed. George chuckled again. "Why are you bored?" ", I guess because I haven't seen you in ages", he admitted. "Oh come on!", George exclaimed, he rolled his eyes and laughed. He was glad that Wilbur wasn't angry with him for skipping school. It was a great distraction from everything that was troubling him. He started humming a song that he used to sing when he was younger. It was a nice tune. "Hey Wilbur," George said after a while. "Hmm?", the boy responded. "Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?". "Sure, why not?", he replied enthusiastically. "Alright then." George said and he went back to laying in bed and listening to the rain hitting the windowsill.
After sometime, George fell asleep.

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