Heartdriven

19. The One With The Rational Decision

Trigger warning: This chapter contains content that some readers may find upsetting.

Alice had travelled home the day after. She had crashed for a few nights with her former roommate, but felt unwelcome by her boyfriend and left the following day, grabbing the first cheap listing she could find, scoring a one-bedroom apartment. Double jackpot was a few days later when her job application for the local newspaper was successful. They needed a photographer, particularly for sports events, and were impressed by her portfolio, equipment and availability on any location.
A week later, and she had not heard from Sebastian since their last conversation. It was over.

Daniel reached out to her every now and then, messages and phone calls. He kept her unwillingly updated. She had not been watching any Formula One races, she didn't want to look at Sebastian and miss him more than she already did, but Daniel asked her how she was doing and she asked him how he was doing.
Things were not going that great. He was pushing information on her about Sebastian... he had not won a race since before Spain. Since before she had met him.
Red Bull and Sebastian were reigning world champions but his title defence was in a bit of a rough patch. As Daniel was a Red Bull academy driver, he was involved and vented the whole situation to her.
"Have you spoken to him?" Daniel nervously asked and it caught her by surprise. Months had gone by... she was settled, she had moved on.
"No, Daniel. I have not." She tried to brush him off before he could go the direction where she assumed he was headed, "I'm not going to call him. It's not—", Daniel interrupted her, "Maybe it could help, I don't know? Dude's been acting all down for the past while." And he went there.
"Why are you acting like we had this major... whirlwind romance? Like, it was just a fling, a couple of weeks. God!" She was taking her frustration out on Daniel.
"So ya' telling me, Alice, that it's just coincidence Seb has been in a slump ever since he met you?"
She had to be firm with him. "Yes. That is what I am telling you. I have moved on."
Daniel chuckled on the other end, "Yeah, I can clearly tell."

That sarcastic reply from Daniel had gotten in her head, and she was defending herself against her own thoughts. She had moved on. She didn't think more about Sebastian, no, she did not. Sebastian was the furthest thing from her mind. His races were none of her business. Why should she care about some guy she knew for a few days, months ago. No, sir. She was moved on. She was moved on. Mm-hmm...
How had she moved on?... She had dived into her work ever since she got back here, living isolated. All her daily interactions were through work, neighbours or supply shopping. Where was her social life? Why hadn't she learned from the only experience she had gotten, had she moved on by telling herself that she had moved on, or would she move on by proving to herself that she was moved on?
So Alice did what any levelheaded person does when they are making rational decisions to prove something to themselves; she went to a bar.

Sitting at the counter, she had been approached by a slightly older man... thirties. She didn't really care about him personally, but he seemed confident, experienced, well-dressed and interested, so she was doing her best to flirt, going as well as you could imagine. Laughing at everything he said, but he didn't seem to care, he did seem to want to stand awfully close to her. And put his hand on her lower back.
It made her nervous and uncomfortable, so she quickly excused herself for the bathroom to give herself a pep-talk, hiding in the bathroom stall. "You got this. You are a strong, confident woman. You don't need no man."
It knocked on the door and she went quiet. "Everything okay in there?" Alice slowly unlocked the door and peered out,
"Yes, thank you. I was just... hyping myself up." She walked over to wash her hands, and the woman followed behind her.
"So, how's your night going?"
Alice turned around and hid her face in her hands, "I don't know. I'm trying to hook up with this guy... no strings attached, right?"
The woman nodded at her, "Right," as Alice continued, "But like, how do you do that?" Alice reached her hands out in question.
"Hon, I guarantee he is less interested in you than you are in him. If you just follow along he will take care of you," and the woman winked at her.
Alice wrapped her arms around her and the woman hesitated but gave into a hug. "Thank you. That was the pep-talk I needed."

Alice exited the bathroom wearing the invisible cloak of confidence, walking right up to the man waiting for her at the bar and whispered in his ear, "Do you wanna get out of here?"
He quickly turned around, nodding and threw money on the counter, grabbing her by the hand as she followed him outside.
"I live just a few block away from here, we can walk, about 5 minutes, is that cool?" he suggested, while looking for no taxi in sight.
"Crystal cool," and she closed her eyes in embarrassment.
It was more like 10 minutes, but whatever, they were there. They hadn't spoken much on the walk over, he was mostly assuring her it was 'right around the corner'.
He lived in an apartment in a normal building on a normal street. It was... normal.
He welcomed her to his place with a kiss, returned by her putting her arms around him. He grabbed her by the thighs and lifted her up, as she held on to him around his neck. He walked over to the dinner table and placed her, still holding each other in desperate movements, his hands all over her. He leaned over her as she leaned back—GONK!
She fell down, grabbing the back of her head, "Ahhh, what that was what?" she felt dizzy, having gotten a hit to her head.
"No-no-no!" he yelled, and ran away from her, and she got blinded by the light over the table, shining bright into her eyes. Covering her eyes and trying to get herself up from the table, he grabbed her arms and helped her such.
"The light! Fuck! I'm sorry, you good?" He moved her hair aside to check her skull, but she held him at a distance by his shoulder.
"Don't worry, it's nothing."
She rubbed the sore spot and loosened the grip of her other hand on his shoulder, making eye contact, as he questioned "Why don't we move this to the couch?" He lifted her up and carried her over, lying her gently down. "Let me make it up to you."
Her head was fine again, and she laid back on the couch pillow. He was on top of her, kissing her, her body, moving down her chest, his hands as well, feeling her body, as she lied there, receiving it.
She was reminded... no, she was not. No, she was not. It reminded her of. No. Focus. He moved his hands down her hips, to the tip of her dress, touching her thighs and further up. The last time... the first time she went home with someone she didn't know—stop it.
He pulled down her underwear and kissed her down her legs, removing them from around her ankles, spreading her legs around his shoulders, crawling towards her. Sebastian.
She sat up and he was looking up at her between her legs, as she reached her arm on him, "Wait a second."
Looking reassuringly in his eyes, he let go of her thighs and moved up closer towards her, on top of her. "How bad did you hit your head?" He kissed her on top of her hair, her forehead, her cheek... her mouth. Sebastian.
"No, wait," she clinched both his biceps and he lifted himself up at a distance from her. She moved her arm under his rib to push him off, and he sat up, his hips still between her thighs.
"Okay. What's going on?" She lifted herself up from the couch and leaned forward to remove her legs.
"This wasn't a good idea. I'm gonna go." Sitting on the couch, putting her underwear back on, he put his hands on her shoulders and started massaging.
"Just relax..." he kissed her neck, and she attempted to get up but he was holding her in his grip.
"Can you let go of me?... Please, let go. Hey. Get off!" she jerked her elbow back in his chest and he fell into the couch, she turned around and kicked him on his knee.
"What the fuck, man?"
She adjusted her underwear as he reached for her dress, "Come on..." She pushed him back on the couch, with full force through her wrists and ran towards the door, "Tease!" thrown at her and "Asshole!" thrown back at him, she continued running down the stairs, leaving the building, going home.

After Alice locked her apartment door behind her, she went straight for the bathroom, pulling the dress off herself and got under the shower, furiously washing herself and him off of her. "Fucking asshole."
She wrapped herself in a towel, and sat at her kitchen table with a glass chocolate milk. Sipping at it slowly in comfort. She opened her laptop and checked her email. The newspaper had sent her on an assignment over the weekend. A two-day karting event, out of town, all expenses paid. Nice.