The Things They Never Told Me (Completed)

Thing 6: The end in friend Part 3

Welcome to part 3. 

This is a very difficult story for me to write in many ways but this one is going to be one of the hardest so far. The reason is that this story involves two friends I had known for an extremely long time. This one is also different from the last as it was me who made the decision to end the friendship. You will see why I made that choice.

So first a bit of context. When I was 11 I made friends with a girl called Harriet, we were unfortunately not in any of the same classes. I hung around on my own a lot of the time but Harriet and I always rode home together on the bus. 

When I was 12 I made the decision to move classes as I was being bullied again. I moved into Harriet's class and met her best friend Naomi (the horse girl from a while ago). Naomi was a very different person than Harriet. She cared about school for a start (which Harriet definitely didn't) and she was also much more, outspoken? I'm not sure if that's the right word but Naomi liked to be in charge. She was one of those people who always had to have their own way. 

Skipping ahead by a few years and I met Carla. Carla moved into our school when we were 14 but I never really got to know her until we were 15. And so our trio became four. The rest of school went by without much change. We did our final exams and left for college. Naomi went to do A levels, Carla to do a construction course, Harriet to do art and me to do a business course. 

At this point, except for Harriet I really never spoke to Carla and Naomi. Harriet made her own friends and had little interest in me anymore and when I did see Carla or Naomi it wasn't for very long.

Skipping ahead again to January of 2020. I was now in my first year of my art course. I happened to bump into Naomi while I was on my way to a lesson. She wanted to start talking again and she added me to hers and Carla's group chat on Facebook. She did tell me that she'd asked Harriet to join too but Harriet wasn't interested. I really think this whole story would have been very different if she had.

By this time I was 18. Naomi would be 18 at the end of January and Carla would be 18 in June. I began joining in with their conversations and we began video calling every evening. 

During these calls, we at first just caught up on the past year and a half and chatted about random stuff. It wasn't really until late January that things began to take a turn for the worst.

Naomi's birthday was on January 27th and she wanted to go out drinking with Carla and me. I told her that I wasn't really interested in drinking and also that I couldn't stay out late like they could as I had no way of getting back home. I did try very hard to make myself go anyway, but I was so stressed about it I ended up cancelling several days before.

That's when things really changed. Naomi began calling me names in the chat, horrible names that I will not be repeating here. But no matter what Naomi said Carla always took her side and thought it was funny. 

At first I thought they were only playing around and that the 'joke' would wear off after a few days. It didn't. Naomi continued and I eventually began telling my mum about it. She told me that I should talk to them and ask her to stop. So I did.

I told her that I didn't like being made fun of or being called those things. I said that it was really getting me down, which it was by the way. I also said that I wouldn't be able to join in with their video calls unless we had them earlier. They wanted to call at like 1 am and stay on the phone for several hours. Even when I had college the next day. If I tried to leave, the insults would ensue. I felt trapped. I had to do what they said when they said it or I would be insulted. Naomi said I was being stupid and that they were only messing around and that I needed to lighten up. She said it was only a joke. I replied and said that a joke is only funny if everyone involved finds it funny, I definitely didn't.

She again said I needed to lighten up and that if I did lighten up a little she would tone it down. I continued to call them. I participated in their conversations, I let them call me names when I had to go to bed and the only times I felt happy was when Naomi had to leave and it was just me and Carla.

Around me Carla was a completely different person. She always acted like she was trying to impress Naomi when we were all together, but by herself she was exactly like the Carla I knew at school. 

Another thing was that they never really accepted who I was as a person, I say was because I am very different now. They thought I was immature and wanted me to act my age. I am a naturally very childish person. I get on better with people younger than me. I still enjoy things I enjoyed as a child. According to Naomi this wasn't ok. I had to act completely different around them than I did with my other friends.

Finally at some point towards the end of February I gave up. It was another day of Naomi's insults and for once I had had enough. I told her not to call me that and she began telling me again to lighten up. I told her that I wouldn't lighten up because I shouldn't have to put up with this from people who I thought were my friends.

She proceeded to make fun of me and my family and told me that I think that the world revolves around me. I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. 

The number one thing I cared about was that she insulted my mum. I am fiercely protective of my mum. I didn't care about her insulting me but insulting my mum was taking it too far. I messaged back and said that she had no right to insult my mum. 

I began to write another message saying that if she was saying that I thought the world revolved around me she should take a look at herself, when.... she deleted me from the group chat. 

During the last few minutes my mum had heard me crying and come into the room. I told her that we were in the middle of an argument and she saw what I had said. She watched as I typed out the final message that I never got to send and watched as I was deleted from the group chat.

She told me she was proud of me for sticking up for myself.

Almost every two weeks after the incident I continually got messages from Naomi and Carla trying to get me to come back. Firstly they were insulting me again. Then slowly they started blaming me saying it was my fault until finally....they stopped.

I actually still get messages from them from time to time. I am still too scared to block them but I think I am finally ready to take that step. I really hope they have changed and I am happy in a way that Harriet didn't decide to join the chat. I wonder how differently things would have turned out if she did?

So, my advice for the end of this chapter. Please don't let yourself go through this. I swear you deserve better. I went through this for 6 weeks and they are some of the worst weeks of my life. I look back now and think what an idiot I was for letting them treat me like that, but when you're in the situation it's different. I look back now and I feel stupid for not leaving earlier, but I am also proud of myself for making the choice to leave when I did. I am also proud of myself for not going back to them. This was bullying. There's no doubt about it and for it to come from two people one I had known for 6 years and the other I'd known for 4 this really hurt a lot. 

So all I have to say in conclusion is, if you are in this situation, leave, trust me it is the best decision you will make in your life. You don't have to put up with this. You can find someone better. And please don't go back to them. No matter how much they do or don't apologise, don't go back. I promise you will feel happier if you leave this situation. And please don't do this to someone. Everyone deserves a real friend and I promise someday you will find one.