Normally I don't have any problems with little rooms where the top of any scan is very close with my head or face, but today I feel very good about this moment and I don't want to show it to the doctors so I close my eyes during the songs on my favorite radio.
Those minutes takes also for like hours when they take a scan and even I hear not everything because the very loud voices from a rock band, I know the doctors are all talking for sure about how my epilepsy started and what's the reason of my attacks.
I still remember the first time I had my attacks, I had it during the last sleepover I had with my friend Alexis when I felt on a moment after a pillow fight my body went shaking incredible hard, I thought it was nothing until Alexis' mother who is a doctor told me how serious this all was and took me to the hospital.
The full road to the hospital I felt scared, emotional and my head hurted so much because I cried over like 20 minutes before I got maybe a little calmer.
It took me more then 70 hours before I really accepted the way I couldn’t help it and that I needed to stay at the hospital for more then 7 days after each other because all the doctors went so unsure about me and they didn't knew how the medicines would work for me.
Now so many years later i'm here. Again. The same scan, The same doctors, The same room, The same feelings, But mostly of all the same fright like I had back then.
When the song "HARD ROCK HALLELUJA" from the band that won back in Eurovision year 2006 plays into the black, old headphones from the hospital, the chair finally got out of the scan and I see some doctors again around me, looking how I feel and try to look if I really feel okay.
"You go can miss Wiggels, we come back later." one of them says short so I put my clothes back on in the room next to the scan and walk again with a nurse to my room.
Every single step I take with her until my room, I hear the sound of her shoes that goes on when she takes some steps on the floor because her shoes looks and are old and when I look to her, she always smiles soft back to comfort me.
The elevator time was already louder around us. Some kids asking to their young mother how their aunt was doing, some doctors with coffee or other warm drinks into their hand and a patiënt who I remember because he lays on the same floor as me.
"Allright, the doctor will come soon as he can. If you need something, just press on the button as you know from earlier and we will try to help." are her words right after I sit back next to my dark brown, but modern and comfortable chair between my bed and my beautiful view outside the hospital and when I look to the nurse I see the name Tessa on her clothes with a pin and a label with her name on.
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"Okay thank you a lot miss Tessa." I reply back with a smile and not many minutes later I hear a sound of shoes walking in that I recognize incredible fast and my thoughts are right.
"Thanks god, you are okay!" my father says fast when he runs to me and hug me tight and when we let each other go I also see my aunt standing in the room and she smile soft to me.
"Hello dear, it's been a while." she says to me when I also hug her and I need to make me big because she is almost even tall as Ollie or Daniel and when I hug my aunt, I smell her amazing perfume like always.
"So happy to see you also again aunt." is my answer with a smile and I take 2 extra chairs and add them next to mine so we all watch together outside the big and large window.
"Are you feeling allright?" my father asks slowly to me when we still look all outside and hearing some cars and trains around my room and I bet my father asks something because he always gets annoying when he just hear the sound of silence.
"Yeah i'm okay dad, don't worry." I say back and turn to him and I see him smiling but I see also he get worry again what makes me get worry too.
"Did miss Tessa helped you to the scan and how are your results?" he finally dares to asks because the room went back to the silence mood.
"I'm just back from my scan so I don't know how long i'm still here or what my results are, miss Tessa told me the doctor would be come soon when he gets time for it." I reply in all my honesty.
"Hmmm, we will wait then until we see the doctor." my father wants to answer but we hear fast a knocking voice on the door and we see the young male doctor with dark hair and an Asian face in front of us.
"Miss Wiggels, we have your results here." he says right after he greets me, my dad and my aunt and stands next to me with all his papers into his hands.
What he all said, well it's Chinese for me. I really never understand any word what the doctors wanted to say to me so I always ask them way a lot questions back so I understand mostly of the things they answers.
After around 20 minutes he leaves the room again, close the door and it's silence again until I ask what the doctor now really said to us because I really had no idea at all.
"Well the doctor said they still need to find why you got your last attack and tonight they will come say how long you need to say." my aunt says short back again with a smile and I know she can help me a lot because she is also a doctor in another hospital not so far away from where my dad and I live.
"Let's hold some candles I don't need to stay here for long because my intership." I say back with a sigh and look again outside before I got finally some notices back from my phone because I just took him back after the full scan stuff and a smile comes again to my face when Ollie dm's me again with some messages, but really one got absolute my attention and my heart became to race a little bit harder.
"I will come as soon I can. Just never forget how strong you are Eleanor Wiggels.
I love y-,
No I adore you,
Ollie aka your hugging teddybear."
*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Hey guys! As you saw I try to write more different in my book at the moment and I hope you love it like I do :)
Also thank you like a thousand time for the 5k readers here, it's means A LOT for me <3
