New Coach?

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My friends and I are practicing hockey

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My friends and I are practicing hockey. I shoot the puck at the goal and Goldberg's the goalie and he's not stopping the pucks

Goldberg: Sonny, stop! Hey! I'm your friend, am I?
Me: Come on, Goldberg. At least try to stop the pucks.
Goldberg: Hey, that hit me that time.
Charlie: Goldberg, you're the goalie. It's probably to hit you.
Goldberg: Does that sound stupid to anyone else?

I rolled my eyes and we saw a black limo and we walked up to it and it was a guy with a black jacket

Jesse: Yo, dude. You're obviously in the wrong hood. This is my dominion. This is a drug-free zone, you understand? We ain't buyin' nothin'. l'm feelin' generous today. So l'm gonna let you get your sorry vanilla bootie outta here before we be usin' your eyeballs as hockey pucks.

We laughed at Jesse's joke at the guy and he looked at us serious

??Thanks, bro, but l'm not goin' home 'til l take care of business.

He was reaching for his pocket and we backed away from him, I held Jesse's arm as he backed me up and he was a piece of paper, I sighed in relief

??: District Five Pee Wee hockey team. I'm Gordon Bombay. I'm the new coach.

We start laughing because he's joking, right?

Me: What a joke!
Jesse: Yeah, right.
Bombay: Afraid so, dude. Got the roster right here. Averman, Dave. Conway, Charlie. Hall, Terry. Phillips, Sonny. Here's the long and the short of it. I hate hockey and l don't like kids.
Peter: What's this supposed to be, a pep talk?
Bombay: I'm sure this'll be a real bonding experience. Maybe one day one of you will even write a book about it in jail.
Peter: Funny. The only person who's gonna be in jail is Sonny.
Me: Shut up, Peter.
Bombay: Is there a goalie?
Goldberg: Only for a little while. I'm movin' back to Philly.
Bombay: Thank you for sharing that.
Goldberg: No problem.
Bombay: All right, get out on the ice. Let me see what you can do.

I start skating and dropped the puck and everyone fell, I skate to the puck and scored it to the goal

Averman: The Pete-meister. Mr Rabble-rouser. Passing the puck over to Jesse-roonie, the enforcer.

Peter fell and I helped him up, he thanked me and skated away

Averman: Ouch! That hurt! Oh, it's the Connie-meister and the Sonny-Bunny. The velvet hammer.

Connie and I pushed him and he fell, I scoffed and skate to Bombay

Connie: Hi, coach. l'm Connie and this is Sonny.
Me: Hi.
Connie: Do you play ?
Bombay: No. So what's our record anyway?
Connie: We only lost by five. We almost scored a goal too because of Sonny.

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