jjba oneshots

unholy couch sex - abbachio x ned flanders

requested by: myriizs 

i actually watched the simpsons so finally a character i know well 💀also im not writing the lemon 🧌

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"howdily doo, abbachio! hows the kids?" ned asked. abbachio hated ned's guts. his happy go lucky attitude annoyed the shit out of him, but abbachio had to admit, he was attractive. 

"they're not my kids..." abbachio said, correcting ned for the 10000th time. "well, hows the wife?" ned asked, talking about bruno. ned always mistook bruno for a woman and thought that him and abbachio were married. "h-she is dead..." abbachio said, walking away from ned sadly. 

bruno had died when he gave birth to twins, unfortunately the twins died shortly after their mother/father did, leaving abbachio alone and having to take care of giorno, mista, narancia, and fugo, well fugo went off to college so he was also gone. 

"oh no! i'm so sorry! well always feel free to drop by if you need to talk, i'm a widower too." ned said, remembering his wife, maude flanders who got killed in a horrific t-shirt canon accident (im not kidding this actually happened in the simpsons 💀). 

 abbachio nodded and headed back home, a soon as he got in his house he grabbed a bottle of wine and sat on the couch looking at picture of bruno, crying. 

he heard a knock on his door and went to go check, "howdily-doo abbachio! i brought you a gift basket! everyone from church pitched in! hope you like it! well, i guess i'll give you some space now..." ned said, about to leave. abbachio grabbed his hand, "come in." he said, leading ned into the house with the gift basket in hand. 

"oh, want to talk?" ned asked, not knowing what abbachio was planning. they sat down on the couch reminiscing about their wives/husbands when abbachio pushed ned down on the couch and they had sex. (idk it just happened 🤷‍♀️) 

narancia walked down the stairs in his favorite orange pajama pants and a glass of water, he just woke up and saw his father having sex with the annoying guy from church! "WHAAT!" narancia yelled, spilling his water all over himself and running back upstairs. 

they got dressed and ned was about to say goodbye to abbachio when a male stripper with crusty pink hair with cockroaches in it fell from the roof and died. they ignored the guy and ned left, abbachio went to go beat the shit out of narancia if he told anyone. 

the end.