Creekington High's Pretty Boy (BXB)

FIFTEEN

Grey was crying. A lot.

When I first walked into our shared room, I was unsure of whether I should leave him to himself, but when those eyes looked into mine I knew I couldn't.

Despite how many times I tried to hug him, or get him talk about it, he pushed me away muttering a quick "Fuck off."

So now I sat at the edge of his bed, wondering what to say or not. Grey simply sniffled, looking at me with an annoyed expression.

"You really don't know when to quit, do you?" He grumbled, angrily wiping his last tear.

I gave him no answer, simply grasping his hand. He didn't push me away, just looked down at the exchange with curiosity.

"I had therapy."

Therapy. That must be why. Although it is helpful to talk about your emotions it reminds you how painful the past truthfully is.

I have had around eight sessions now. Though, none of them were as impactful as the first. We have spoken about my father, but very little. I didn't want to be reminded of that fateful day.

"It just reminded me of home."

"What about it?"

"How shitty it was." He mumbled, shaking slightly in my hand. "As crazy as it may sound, my grandad was the leader of this cult, The Realmers."

My eyes shot up in surprise. I had actually heard about this through the news. Ma was yelling at the tv for what seemed like hours, curiosity took sight of me and I watched the very end of the clip on the news.

"Have you heard about them?"

"A bit." I muttered, laying beside him now

"They uh-" Grey started but stopped quickly, looking away as his eyes filled with tears, "They had very extreme Christian ideals. I know it was all bullshit but it's hard to break brainwashing."

Suddenly things began to make sense about Greys behavior. He was named after a sin. Of course he didn't want to be called it he's trying to heal from his trauma. His past  also explains his complex relationship with sex. One of the first nights we shared a room he sobbed after masterbating.

"Worship was everyday for hours. I was taught to never have sex unless my grandfather approved of it, which is kinda weird if you think about it. Marriage also needed his approval. Hair had to always be cut. Homosexuality was a huge no. We couldn't eat certain foods." He suddenly stopped talking, leaning his head on my shoulder, "Everything was just not allowed. And it fucks with your mind as a kid."

Hesitantly, my hand brushed up to his hair, petting it softly, so softly, too scared that any sort of harshness would push him away.  However, he only seemed to snuggle into me more.

"My own fucking name had to do with sin. I'm named after the demon of lust." He chuckled lightly, "I mean what the hell?"

Asmodues.

"Why are you named that?" I asked softly, testing the waters

"There's seven princes of hell. In the early stages of the cult, there were seven children born under the approved marriages of my Grandfather. He took that as a sign from god, that this first generation of children had the 'devil' in them." He cleared his throat, "We were treated worse than the other kids cause of his conspiracies."

"How so?"

"Basically we were everything that was wrong so we were never treated right." His eyes bored into mine for a moment before he sighed softly, seeing that I was please with his answer, "We were abused and neglected."

"That's awful."

"It wasn't great." He hummed, "Can we talk about this later, I just want to be with you right now?"

"O-Of course."

So we laid like like that for awhile. Just listening to one another's heartbeats, comforting one another, speaking of our days.

I was never able to be intimate with someone like this before. Sure, I had girlfriends and plenty of flings. But they were never like this.

At the very same time, I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else. Man or woman. No one had ever made me feel so safe. Nor have a I ever wanted to make someone feel safe.

This is dangerous for me.

"Baby?" He asked softly

Warmth spread to my cheeks quickly. Suddenly, everything was so much more intense. That name, that name does something to me. Hell, he does something to me that I will never understand.

"Yes?"

"What have you been through?"

No part of me wanted to talk about this, yet I found myself answer his question. Giving into him like I always do.

"My Ma, I love her. I really do. But she's an addict. She was clean for a few years, but recently relapsed." I swallowed lightly, "My father, well he was ill mentally speaking. He had several suicide attempts and breakdowns. Until ultimately ending his life in front of me."

He didn't respond, only rubbed my arm. Which I melted at.  I like this. Taking care of each other. Something very domesticated to me.

Grey is the most feared man in this whole school. Yet he has this soft spot for me. It made me feel special.

My Ma relapsing, Joey distancing himself from me, and my dads death suddenly wasn't on my mind. Only how safe I felt.

"I wanna tell you something. And I don't want you to talk about with me after." Grey muttered after a long moments of silence

"Um, okay."

My heart hammered in my chest. Anxious to what he may say. Or not say.

"I have feelings for you. I have for a while now." He said with his eyes on the wall, "It's not just sexual either, but that's a plus."

My cheeks burned slightly at his words. Yet my eyes stayed focus on his face which refused to face me.

"But, I don't want to be with someone who won't accept their sexuality. It took me so long to understand mine. I refuse to be sucked back in that hole."

He finally looked me deeply in the eyes saying softly, "When you're ready I will be waiting, pretty boy."

a/n: hi, it has been six months since an update. im sorry guys. the book will be finished in time.

however, i do not plan to leave you guys without an update for this long again.

take care of yourselves.