Butterfly Marked

Sour Grapes

Music blared out of the club as the door was flung open, and a young man in black stumbled out into the night air. The drinks he'd had earlier were finally hitting him. Barely able to keep himself upright he teetered past the thickly muscled bouncers, and in an amazing feat of balance managed to continue down the street without falling flat on his face or anyone else.

His mind was all but blank space, before the reason he'd gone out tonight came back to him mercilessly reminding him of past indiscretions. Unthinkingly one hand hovered over a small spot on his ribs near his armpit. In the hasty handwriting of a rushed artist, a name he no longer called out except in the darkest most hidden parts of his heart, was written.

And now he most certainly would never call out that name with warmth and love again. He'd gotten the call in the early afternoon. However, almost a year ago  his lover had begged for space. They had begun a cycle of arguments that never seemed to resolve themselves, and after 6 months Sig had called for a truce....and a break.

He'd argued with Rain that they needed time away from each other. They had been together since high school...a full 5 years, but instead of peace they were constantly at war with each other. Sig blamed it on the fact that he was a little jealous of Rain's newfound fame. The hard work he'd poured into music production was starting to pay off, and as of now people were lined up to work with him.

However, with more work there was less time to spend together, and slowly but surely it started to wear on their relationship. As they sat  emotionally exhausted from the last fight Sig offered a solution. He had always wanted to work abroad, and an opportunity had come to him. The time limit was Six months, and he thought it would do them some good to cool off.

In the end Rain gave in, not wanting to stand in his lover's way since he had been supported from the start. But things didn't go as planned. The calls and video's that had been promised all but stopped after only a couple months, and as Rain got busier time slipped by until a year had passed.

Rain had finished work early the night before, and before he went to bed he pulled up his email on his phone. Relaxing into the soft mattress he scrolled through  business messages, and then stilled at a familiar email. A flutter of anticipation filled him as he saw Sig's old email, and he clicked on it to open.

Inhaling sharply he read it, and tried to ignore his pounding heart as he felt a cold numbness climb his arms, shoulders, throat, and down into his stomach.

Sig wasn't coming back...

Not only was Sig not coming back, but after only a couple months in the US he had applied to extend his time in the detail position without telling Rain. The calls and videos that had stopped, were a side effect of the new relationship he had formed with a co-worker named James. James with whom he was now engaged, and preparing to marry in less than a month.

Sig wrote him to apologize for what he had done, as if that would make up for the time that Rain had wasted. Surmising that it was likely that by now Rain had realized he hadn't had the courage to break up with him, and had just disappeared silently from his life.

The more he read the angrier got. Every word was a lie the entire email was a thinly veiled attempt to relieve his own guilt so he could move on with the "New" man in his life. In the past 8 month's Rain had convinced himself over and over that there had to be a reason for his silence.

He waited faithfully, and miserably at times as he watched other couples enjoy a closeness he had once experienced in the past . He'd turned down dinner invitations, pleasure invitations, and all but shut himself off from a thriving social life to wait for a man who had barely given a moments thought before he threw him away and moved on without even the courtesy of telling him first.

He willed the anger to fill him, but only felt deflated. He knew where to put the blame, and yet still he lay there like a balloon with no will to hold onto the air inside of itself. And worse yet the burn began, a lance of pain from beneath his arm. Tonight was the night he would erase the invisible man from his life.

He needed a drink