Saving Calen

2.

Calen's POV
TW: SH

"I said watch where you're going. That's your mother." I stand my ground. He crosses the room towards me, a malicious smile on his face.

Even though I see the punch coming and do my best to evade it, but he's far too fast.

He clips me on the jaw, sending me stumbling back. It must've knocked some sense into me because I raised my arms.

"Look man, I don't want to fight." I say as I rub the bruise that's forming.

Before I can react, he sends another one that snaps me straight in the nose. Anger fills my body.

"Come on, mamas boy. You just going to-" he starts, but my anger has officially surfaced.

Before he finishes I am tackling him into the table with a deafening thud. I land two punches to his jaw before he uses his strength flip us over.

I land on my back hard and scramble to get to my feet. I'm too slow and he grabs my foot and drags me to the ground.

I kick upwards and it lands on his chest. However, it does nothing to slow him down. He gets on top of me and pins my hands under his knees so I can't move.

"See, this is your issue, Calen."

Punch.

"You're soft."

Punch.

"And pathetic."

Punch.

"Better off dead."

With that he grabs my head and slams it backward into the floor. My vision blurs and a wave of nausea slams my body.

My breathing becomes sporadic as my mind flits back to last summer, my dads face slowly morphs into Cadens as I lay in a silent panic.

Caden merely wipes his bloody knuckles on his pants and stands up.

"Get cleaned up." He tosses of his shoulder before leaving the room.

I stay on the floor until my vision stops being so blurry.

...

I pick myself up and grip the table as I try to make my way to my room in the basement. My head throbs and screams at me to stay out.

"Jesus, Calen." My mom gasps. She reaches for one of the bruises forming in my face but I flinch back.

"I'm okay, ma."

She reaches out again, and this time I let her.

"Don't do that, please. Don't stand up for me. I don't want to watch you get hurt like that."

She grabs my bloody face in her hands. She gently runs her thumb over a gash under my eye, causing me to wince.

"I'll beat him one day." I say, though I only half believe it.

"I know, son. Now go get cleaned up before your father sees."

She shoos me away and I hobble downstairs.

...

Once I'm alone I lock the door and go to the bathroom.

I slump against the wall as my breathing picks up.

I never wanted to be this. To be like this.

I look in the mirror and all I see staring back at me is a weapon. A tool made to be used for one's benefit.

And I hate myself for it. I hate the fact that I've been twisted and molded into this. I hate that bruises cover my body constantly.

I know hundreds of different knives, guns and other weapons. I know strategies and how to read people like a book, but ask me what my favorite movie is and I'm at a loss.

More snippets of last summer flood my mind and panic rises.

The crunching of my jaw as it broke, the snapping of my ribs, begging my body to let me pass out. But I never did. Not even for a second.

For an hour.

It got so bad, Caden had to stop it. Caden.

I was so damn weak. Helpless as my lights got punched out. Pathetic.

Don't do this.

My fist flys forward, shattering the mirror and for the moment, the physical pain heavily diminishes the mental pain.

I just want to cry. To scream. To feel. But I can't. I try to force the tears out, but they've been effectively trained out of me.

I pick up a shard of glass.

Don't Calen.

I push the embarrassingly small voice of self preservation down and slowly unwrap my hands.

I drag the glass across my skin, adding another scar to the rather impressive collection that already sit there.

I don't know how much time passes before I'm sitting on the floor staring into the abyss, blood pooling around me.

"Calen!" Casey yells while knocking on the door. I put on my best big brother voice and answer, though my eyelids feel heavy.

"Yeah, bud? What's up?"

"Will you come play cars with me?" He asks. I can hear him dragging the small toys against the door while he makes engine noises.

Guilt about takes me the rest of the way out. I scramble off the floor.

I quickly clean myself up and throw on a hoodie, locking the bathroom door behind me. I open the door.

"What did I say about being too loud with those? You know what dad will do."

He nods his sandy haired up and down. "I'll have to eat out of a straw like you did!"

"That's right. Now get in here, I want to be the blue one."

A smile forms across his freckles face as he runs in my room.

"Last one to the bed is a fart head!" He screams.

I jog behind him and pick him up before tossing his small frame onto the bed. Laughter fills the room.

"What happened to your face?" He asks.

"Oh, training." I lie.

He looks skeptical but drops it.

"I love you, Calen." He whispers, throwing his small arms around my neck. The words warm my heart.

If only I could get myself to say it back.

Instead I nod and ruffle his hair before bringing him in for a hug.

"Thank you, little man."