Behind the Mask

Chapter 26

Marissa's POV

I stared at my ring as I twirled it around my finger. Four years. Four years and I'd never allowed myself to get personal with a lover. The closest I'd come was Jackson and Chloe, and even then it was only oral sex. I'd never spent the night in their arms, never truly cuddled and felt loved - it was always just scenes. The day Chloe had gone down on me in my apartment was the most personal we'd ever gotten, then I met them. Well, I guess I'd already met Sean, but truly meeting them was another experience altogether.

My apartment felt so empty compared to their home. I missed the conversation, the jokes, all of it. They had offered to let me stay longer, but I needed to have a moment to breathe - to make sure that my feelings were real and not just a haze of sex and lust. They'd been understanding when I said I needed some time alone. That's how I found myself at the club after weeks of being gone. I placed my ring in the lockbox and walked the familiar halls to the preferred members' seating. One of my favorite employees brought me a drink. "How are you, Mistress?"

"I'm well, Celeste. How are you this evening?" I asked her. She was a young girl, maybe early twenties, just barely legal to work here, but I better than most understood the pull. When she was interviewed, she explained her desire to learn but she couldn't afford any of the safe dungeons. She had hoped that just working here would help her learn. Between that and her studies, I couldn't say no. She reminded me so much of Winston and myself.

"I'm well. Some of the high-rollers have been in and they always tip well without getting nasty." I frowned.

"Celeste, if any guests or employees are ever inappropriate, I need to know immediately. You can also let Justin or Rose know. I don't want people like that in my club." She nodded and walked away. This was meant to be a completely safe place for all who entered. I simply wouldn't tolerate anything less.

"Hey beautiful lady," I heard a familiar voice say. "Haven't seen you around in a while." I turned to see Luke's deep chocolate eyes looking at me. I had to bite my tongue from saying his name. "May I?" he nodded at the empty chair near me.

My heart sank a bit. "Of course," I said with a false smile. After that night at the mansion and his words, I thought he wouldn't want another. I guess I was wrong. I hadn't even been home a full week and he was moving on. I felt my jaw ache, I clenched it so hard.

"Hey, are you okay," he asked, drawing my focus back to him.

"Sorry, yeah, just lost in thought I suppose," I said. "I've been a bit busy with my life outside these walls lately," I added.

He chuckled and sipped his drink, "Yeah, me too. Um, that's actually, what I wanted to talk to you about." I looked at him in fear. Had he figured it out before I could tell them, would he hate me? "See, there's a woman and I really like her, and well, she, um, well, she's kinda like you. She enjoys pain." I let out the breath I'd been holding. "I guess, I was hoping you'd let me pick your brain about why you enjoy it so I can be better for her."

Be still my beating heart. He was trying to figure out how to make me happy as a sub, by asking the only other pain freak he could think of. Well, fuck, now I want to cry and kiss him. Snap out of it Marissa, you can't do that right now.

"Well, um," I stuttered.

"Yeah, sorry, I know it's weird for me to ask, I just don't know enough. I mean, I like a bit of pain-play and striking, but..." his voice trailed off. I could see the doubt in his eyes.

"Sir, if this woman cares for you even a fraction of how much you care about her, then don't worry. Communicate. Ask her what she likes, and be willing to experiment but don't push yourself into situations you aren't comfortable with." He seemed to relax a bit. "Just because she likes pain doesn't mean she doesn't also like soft and sensual love-making. In my own experience, it is more about the mood and intent. In a scene, I want the pain, but in a private moment with a lover, I want to feel them. I want the moment to unfold naturally with whatever happens a mystery. You can script love, sir."