Snow on the Beach // Tyrion Lannister

12. Dastard

'You all crowned me your king. I never wanted it. I never asked for it. But I accepted it because the North is my home. It's part of me, and I will never stop fighting for it, no matter the odds. But the odds are against us. None of you have seen the Army of the Dead. None of you. We can never hope to defeat them alone. We need allies, powerful allies. I know it's a risk. But I have to take it.' Jon told them confidently.

"We." Jill corrected.

+

'What are you doing?' sansa asked as a walk-through the gardens Tyrion was repeating the peoples names as they passed by laughing at them.

'I have a list.' he told her

'a list of people you mean to kill?'

"I have that list." Jill remarked softly.

'For laughing at me? Who do you think I am? do I look like Joffrey to you?" Tyrion countered before looking to Jill. ''Death is a bit extreme.'' Tyrion offered.

"Death is a good deterrent for devious people to make the same mistakes." Jill countered.

"I like your mind Snow." Tyrion informed her and she smiled innocently. "-but the fear of death on the other hand-' Tyrion began "That's cleaner."

"Not if you do it right." Jill offered.

'you should learn to ignore them.' sansa told him. "Like Jill does."

"Yes. Which is why I have a list." Jill agreed.

'My lady people have been laughing at me far longer than they have been laughing at you. I am the half men the demon monkey.' Tyrion reminded her.

'You are a Lannister.' she corrected 'I am the disgraced daughter of Ned Stark.'

"And the bastard of Winterfell!" Jill declared. "The demon, the disgraced and the-" Jill faltered.

"You trying to make it all D's?" Sansa asked with a laugh.

"I was but Dastard doesn't have a good ring to it." Jill admitted.

"What is a dastard?" Tyrion mused.

"A dishonorable or despicable person." Sansa recalled. "Which Jill is neither."

"I thought I was making up a word." Jill remarked. "That's... wow, learn something new every day." Jill declared.

'So how should be punished them?' Sansa questioned

'Who?'

'The men on your list.' Sansa said as if it was obvious.

"And mine." Jill agreed with a nudge to Sansa.

'Well I could speak to Lord varys learn if they of their perversions anyone named Desmond Kraco must have secrets.' Tyrion told her.

"Yes, Desmond, that's a funny name." jill agreed.

'I do not think that you are a pervert.' Sansa offered.

'I am a demon monkey, I have certain standards to maintain.' he told her.

"Standards." Jill repeated with slight amusement.

"You wound me, Snow. I am wounded." Tyrion teased, putting a hand over his heart.

'We could sheep shift lord desmans bed.' sansa suggested.

"That's always fun." Jill agreed.

'You cut a little hole in his mattress and you shove the sheep shift inside.' sansa said pleasantly. 'Then you sew up the hole and make his bed again it will stink but he will not know where he's coming from.'