Living With The Bad Boy

Chapter 26 || Sophie

▲ Chapter 26 || Sophie ▲

Not gonna lie, I cried when I was writing this. Maybe because Bronte is my bae and I made her, or because I can relate to her and the way that she thinks and feels about things (Not that anything like this has happened to me). You might not cry, maybe it's just me, so don't expect to get as emotional as me lol. Play the attached song while reading it. It's called 'Perfect' by Hedley.

The things that Bronte says in this chapter show you how her beliefs and the way she thinks have been formed. If you were to ever re-read this book and see what she was like at the start of this novel up until now, you would see how her past has made her think and act, you know?

I still don't know if I'm happy with this chapter, but I guess I will find out soon. I know you guys were looking forward to it, which is very nice to hear but also very fucking scary cause I don't want to disappoint.

Also, read this when you are in the time and place where you can really connect to the book, because I don't trust my writing skills enough to make you emotional hahahaha.

Okay. Enough from me.

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*Spoiler Warning.*

*Trigger Warning: Mention of suicide.*

No one knows of my tribulations in middle school besides my parents and Elle. I had planned to keep it that way because I wanted to keep this stuff in the past, but I think it is time I break my silence. I know it isn't healthy to bottle things up like I do, and I know that I tell people to let it out when I don't, so I need to stop being such a hypocrite and finally use my own words of advice.

"As you might know, before I lived in Worthington I lived in Jefferson," I state. Jefferson was a small town a little more than an hour away from Worthington. It was the neighbouring town of Worthington, and I had lived there my whole life up until my final year at middle school. Then, I moved to Worthington just in time for high school. "I always told people that I moved because my parents needed to for work, but that isn't true.

"I know I seem like this overly-chirpy pushover all the time, but once upon a time I wasn't like that at all. I had a bit of attitude and whatever I thought, I would say. Sometimes I kinda miss the old me. Like, I always seem to let people walk all over me now, but back then, the way I treated others and the way I treated myself made me feel confident and happy.

"I had a small, tight group of five friends, and my closest one was Sophie. We went everywhere together and we did everything together," my breath hitches and I clench my hands into fists, shifting in my seat nervously, "Sometimes she had mood swings, which I shrugged off. She never invited me to her home, which I, again, shrugged off. Sometimes she wore jumpers on a hot day..." I trail off and breathe for a moment to calm down. My voice was thick with emotion and I could feel my heart speeding up. "I shrugged off everything strange that she said or did! I'm a freaking idiot. A stupid, stupid idiot," I swallow the lump in my throat.

I could feel Blake's eyes on me but I didn't want to look at him. Shame and guilt kept my gaze fixated on the dashboard of the car. "It's been three years and I still haven't gotten over it. I thought I might move on from it when I moved houses. That's what my parents thought, too, but turns out that's not the case," I exhale a bitter laugh, "Turns out you can't just forget the things that you've done when you move towns."

I watch as the car steers onto the side of the road and Blake cuts the engine, leaving us in complete silence.

"I'm gonna make us really late," I state after a long moment.