Living With The Bad Boy

Chapter 35 || I'm Just Fucking With You

▲ Chapter 35 || I'm Just Fucking With You ▲

"You know what? Fuck this," I hear an awfully familiar voice speak up. I spin around on my heels, only to come face to face with Blake, "I'm sick of being self-less."

Blake runs a hand through his hair and lets out a frustrated sigh as he steps towards me, his eyes focused on the floor and his mind elsewhere. I watch him with curious eyes, my heart pounding against my chest. Could this... Could this finally be the moment where everything will fall in place? Or perhaps the very opposite? I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

"I'm not that bad and I'm fucking sick of people telling me that I'm not good enough for you," he scowls as he strolls towards me, "I mean, they're right, but they need to fuck off and mind their own damn business because they clearly don't know jack-shit about me."

I let out a small laugh at his words despite myself as I turn my body and face him fully.

"I know I can be a bastard 90% of the time and I know I'm difficult to deal with... But I really care about you, okay? I do.

"So if you want to do the whole... You know... girlfriend thingy, then you're just gonna have to accept the fact that I'm short-tempered, sometimes rude to other people and a distant person. That is who I've always been. It's who I am and I will try my best to be nice to others but I can't promise anything."

I feel a warmth grow within me from his words. Sure, his confession wasn't the most romantic, Nicholas-Sparks-written confession, but this was real life, this was Blake and I liked him a lot. I didn't need romance or gifts, I needed truth.

As delighted as I was, I still wasn't sure whether I should be happy or worried about the fact that he doesn't want to be self-less anymore. I'm happy now, but if Blake was willing to completely end our friendship because of his ways, then there must be a good reason for it.

As though he read my name, Blake continues, "-And yes, I know that I said that I had to be self-less because I want what's best for you, but fuck it," he continues, "I'm not that bad and I'm sick of being told so. I'm not a bully or heartless or a cruel, using bastard like everyone tells me, and I finally realise that."

I look down at my heels to avoid his gaze, my thoughts everywhere. I felt guilty for once being so uncertain about him like I was the other day. He's right. He isn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be. Sure, he has his moments - but he's not a bully as I previously believed. I don't want to be another person added to the list of people who have made him feel like he's a bad person. That wouldn't help Blake or me.

Louise, I remind myself, don't forget about Louise.

I bite down on my lip before speaking hesitantly, "But what about Louise? You said you didn't care about her."

Blake's shoes come into my field of vision and I don't dare to look up, knowing how close he was to me. "Yeah," he finally mutters, "I don't care about her, but that doesn't mean I don't give a shit about her."

"Oh yes, that totally makes sense," I nod my head vigorously, sarcasm lacing my tone.

Blake lets out a laugh, "What I mean is that I don't care about her in that way- That's what I meant the other day," Blake sighs, "I guess she's a friend... But I really like you, Bront."

My heart warms at his words and I finally look up at him, my breath hitching when I noticed that his face is so close to mine, "So you guys are not going out or anything?" I breathe.