Soukoku One-Shots

Two Forces

Present

Sometimes, the universe created enemies. Forces opposing in every way, incapable of even the smallest form of understanding beyond their mutual withering hatred. They clashed again and again and again their whole lives, destroying themselves and everything around them in the process until all was reduced to dust.

A perfect example of two such forces would be Nakahara Chuuya and Dazai Osamu.

1.

Kunikida, as he so often was these days, was in desperate need of an aspirin.

It hadn't even been three hours into the workday and he'd already had to revise his schedule eight times. Ranpo and Yosano had been out shopping for snacks for the past hour and a half, and Kenji, Atsushi, and Kyouka were playing some kind of game over at one of the coffee tables. Tanizaki and his sister were doing god-knows-what at Tanizaki's desk and Dazai, who had only arrived at the office fifteen minutes ago, was lying on the agency couch taking a nap.

Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and letting out a long-suffering sigh. He should ask the President for a raise when he found time.

"Dazai."

No response.

"Hey, Dazai."

Silence.

"Dazai!"

"Oh, did you say something, Kunikida?" he blinked, brushing the hair from his eyes and looking just as innocent as a child.

It was bullshit.

"I said," Kunikida hissed, "that you need to get off the damn couch and do your work!"

Dazai only continued to look confused. "Why on Earth would I do that?"

Kunikida reminded himself multiple times that murder was both beneath him and illegal before he let out a short sigh and clenched his notebook to keep himself from beating Dazai's face into the ground. "Because this is an office. And you work here."

Dazai waved a lazy hand, shutting his eyes again. "Of course not, Kunikida. You work here. I nap here!"

The familiar sound of a snapping pen could be heard throughout the entire office, and it was only because the door was suddenly kicked open that Kunikida restrained himself from smacking Dazai across the face with his notebook.

He straightened immediately, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Ah. Nakahara."

Chuuya stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets and a sleek manila folder tucked under one arm. He made his way in slowly, as if to be sure no booby traps were waiting to seize him. "We've got some new intel on the Guild. Boss thinks it'd be useful to you," he said by way of greeting and held out the folder, which Kunikida took and leafed through its contents with narrowed eyes. Chuuya watched him warily.

Kunikida made to thank him, but a voice from the couch cut him off.

"Kunikida! Why would you let a slug into our office?"

Chuuya's face immediately morphed into a scowl. "Say that again, mackerel bastard. I'll bash your face in."

Dazai clicked his tongue, hopping up from the couch and moving to stand by Kunikida with a disapproving frown. "Now, now, Chuuya, don't go saying such violent things. There are children present," he tutted, gesturing to the table Kyouka, Kenji, and Atsushi were still sitting at. All three of them were staring with varying expressions of confusion, curiosity, and offense.