Echo of the Past - volume 2

02. Marcin

Translator: Schiotka

Editor: Bluwren

_________________

Did you miss me?

I hope you did. Because I missed you a lot.

A lot of time has passed since I last wrote anything. I wasn't ready, I didn't feel inspired, I didn't want to talk about the shit I stepped into of my own volition. Excuses, I suppose.

But I'm back. I am returning with new energy. And some sort of, I don't know, purification?

Somebody wisely said - time heals all wounds. Ain't that the truth.

There is no better remedy. You could eat buckets of ice-cream, drink hectolitres of alcohol, date a hundred guys, but it all pales in comparison to the force of passing time. You simply must go through a shitty period. Crawl through it, would probably be a better description.

Only time can glue the heart so beautifully together.

To give it back its shape. I think. I hope.

I haven't had a chance to use it since.

I had the chance to experience the mighty power of time on my own skin.

After nearly five months, it happened when I met Nivan by accident at a tram stop...well. I didn't feel any anger, didn't hold a grudge nor did I have the urge to claw his eyes out.

I didn't want to jump into his arms, I did not feel any longing.

I talked. Nothing more, nothing less.

Over this long period of trying to cope with the break up, nothing built me up as much as meeting Nivan by chance. Even though it was my decision, for a long time I felt angry. I resented the fact that nothing had gone the way I wanted it to. I didn't hear the words I wanted to hear, and never learned their meaning. To get to know how that felt.

Sometimes I found myself looking for his distinct silhouette. I imagined him walking into the bar I was now working at. I was puzzling over what I would say to him after so long. And what I would hear from him in return.

It was the first time in a long time that I felt it wouldn't be words full of anger. I had my head straight on, made peace with myself, with the situation. I felt free, but I won't lie...sometimes I feel nostalgic. Reminiscing the things that were...or dreaming about the things that could have been.

After that meeting...for the first time in a long time I was under the impression that I was free again.

I felt proud, cleansed.

Glued back together.

_________________

5 months earlier.

"Marcin, let's talk." Nivan grabbed his wrist. He expected the boy to look at him. That everything could still be fixed.

He was so very wrong. Marcin didn't want to fix anything, he wanted to get the Redhead out of his life as quickly as possible. Forever.

When Nivan touched him, Marcin nearly boiled over. He looked at the Redhead and moved sharply in front of his face. He narrowed his eyes ominously.

"I already told you. This is over," he said, gritting his teeth. "Pack your things. Get out of my life."

They stood in the narrow corridor between their rooms.

"Are you actually able to do this?" The Redhead looked down at him. "Are you seriously okay with dropping it all? We weren't supposed to look back at the things that were. Only at what is now."