Bonds Throughout Time

Lady Cordelia - Lady of the House

It has barely been a month since Mother and Father have given us the estate but already my beloved husband Baxter has seen to change things that have been handed down through my family for generations. Many of the items that he wants to be rid of were made long before his parents were born.

It has barely been a year since Baxter and I were forced to marry by the wishes of both of our parents. I have been regretting the marriage since I caught him cheating on me during our honeymoon. When I mentioned it to my parents my Father smacked me and forbade me to ever speak of such nonsense again.

Mother and Father have always favored Baxter more than me, their daughter, and as children, I never minded because I was always fascinated by how much knowledge he already had at such a young age. As we grew older though it became closer I thought, at the time, that what I felt for him was love since he treated me the way that men do in fairy tales when they are your true love. Once I caught him in bed though with another woman I realized that what we shared was never love, it was admiration and passion for knowledge and power.

I thought that I would be broken-hearted and weeping in betrayal of his actions, but since I was not I should have told my heart immediately that there was no love between the two of us.

Baxter will only get even more power after I give him a son. But he seems to have an easier time impregnating one of his whores than he ever will me, his wife since he refuses to lay with me even though we have been married to one another for long enough.

At the moment, Baxter and his political friends are in the backyard smoking from their pipes and most likely, killing all the beautiful flowers that our gardener Theorodre has been working so hard on bringing back to life father the long drought that we have gone through, and speaking whatever nonsense that they deem important. It must be more important that us going to Paris to see what this strange contraption is that they are building.

Whenever it comes to the two of us going on a trip or having to spend time alone together Baxter is always quick in making excuses on why we can not be together at that time. He treats me worse when his friends are around. It makes me feel such a fool to have married a man who treats me like some trophy to be won.

My curiosity over this strange tower is, quite possibly, never going to fade until I receive some sort of information on what it is going to be and what its importance will be to the country. If not the world. If, and when, I get the chance to be able to visit Paris in person I imagine that I will enjoy myself much more if I take people with me that I enjoy being around. But unfortunately, that will never be possible, not in my lifetime any how, not with the color of their skin or the fact that they are servants working within my estate.

Not only is it against society's normality but also against Baxter will get rid of them in the blink of an eye if he ever finds out about what I truly do when he is away from the estate. If Baxter ever finds this diary then all of my friends lives will be in danger and it will be all my fault. I will never be able to live with myself if anything were to happen to them.

Sustaining any type of a relationship with my servants is risking their lives, some have accepted the risk with open arms since I have grown up with these select few, but the one that I am worried about the most is dear Ciel.

When Baxter moved into the estate as my husband, Ciel was the next in line to become our main Butler. Baxter was furious and almost sacked my friend until my parents stepped in and refused to change his position. The only reason that Baxter has yet to be able to get rid of Ciel is because until I produce an heir Baxter only has limited power to the will of the estate. Since the property is mine by birthright, under my parents, I have more power over the estate and its workers than he currently has. It is the only power that I am allowed to have as Lady Earl.

And it drives him mad.

Baxter is as close-minded as the majority of the world is when it comes to other people of color. I fear the day that I have a child for everyone's sake. Ever since I was a child myself I have always wanted a sibling but because of Mother's frail health after birthing me, she and Father believed it better for her health if they did not try for another. As a child, I resented her for her decision but now as a grown and married woman, I realize the truth of what may have truly happened to my Mother.

If my body allows me, I would like to have both a son and daughter, but not with Baxter, I want to have children with a man that I truly love and who loves me as much in return. With the way that things are now though, I fear that it may never end up happening, so with that knowledge I will forever down my emotions into this beautiful leather-bound journal that Ciel has risked his life in gifting to me.

As children growing up we would listen to stories from Ciel's Father and Uncle in between meals about how they survived the brutality of the world by showing others their God-given talents. These talents have been passed down to another generation since Ciel has done such a wonderful job in creating this journal. It is one of the many gifts that I have been given that will have sentimental value to me for years to come.

If he is ever lucky enough to find a wonderful person to fall in love with and share the rest of his life with then that person will truly be the luckiest in all of this world.