Escape Across the Pond

Chapter 20

Dear Dad,

Can life suddenly sweep you into your dream fairytale? Is it at all possible to wake up from a nightmare and find yourself in the most perfect life you could have ever imagined for yourself? Has this ever happened before? Have I paid my dues and it's all finally paying off? Stay tuned.

Dinner with Grandmama was fantastic. She took me to a more upscale restaurant closer to the city. It was some chic, up-and-coming restaurant that a friend had mentioned that she should try and it was a wonderful recommendation. It was quiet and elegant with white tablecloths and low lighting. There were dark cushioned booths lined around the restaurant and the walls were a beautiful exposed brick. While the restaurant was busy, all the tables were secluded enough that you still felt like you could have an intimate meal with someone. The food was delicious as well, though I'm still trying to adjust to British cuisine. I'm used to hamburgers and all the things that are bad for you. Luckily, there have only been a few things that I've found less than appealing since my move to the UK. But everything I had that night was divine.

Grandmama had supplied me with several beautiful dresses that I would have never picked out for myself, but once I tried them on, I realized how flattering they were on me. And they were all much more sophisticated than anything I currently owned. That night I opted for a gorgeous, blue, short sleeve, v-neck dress with a cinched waist and a white sash around it that tied in the back. The skirt flowed out around my hips and hit just below my knees. It was stunning and classy and I felt that way when I wore it to dinner. I cannot thank Grandmama enough for everything she has done for me. I feel so welcome and like I was made to fit seamlessly into this family, at dinner that didn't stop. She complimented me on how wonderful I made the dress look. She also told me how proud she was that I had not only gotten out of the cottage and made friends but that I had also found myself a steady income. Although she didn't fail to mention that it was unnecessary for me to have gone out and found employment so soon after my arrival, she had no issue at all with me staying in the cabin without the stress of holding down a job.

I honestly don't think I deserve this woman and all the kindness that she's shown me, but I've felt myself opening up to her more and more throughout dinner. Not so much about my time with him because I'd rather not ruin the good mood with something so dark. But I did mention that I was having serious feelings for Alex and I was scared he wouldn't reciprocate. Or that if I told him how I felt, it would be too soon to be so serious and that he wasn't ready for something like that. I also told her how I was scared that I was falling too soon for someone after the whole ordeal that I had just escaped from and maybe I was just clinging to him because of it. By the time I finished telling her all my worries, I realized that I had teared up and tried to discreetly blink back the tears before they could fall.

Grandmama, just as poised as ever, gave me sage advice. She said that not one person can control how quickly or how slowly they develop feelings for another person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with my feelings for Alex. She had said that I had been treated the wrong way for so long that I knew exactly what it was to be treated correctly and if that's what I was getting from him that's all that mattered. And as for him not feeling the same way or that it was too soon for him, she knows her grandson well and he's never been one to go out of his way to pursue a woman before. So that should tell me all I need to know about his feelings for me. As far as she could tell, he seemed adamant that he wants me to stay in the UK and that he worried that there were things that might change my mind about leaving. But according to Grandmama, these are all signs that he is very interested in me continuing to stay here. Then, she gently patted her mouth with her napkin and gave me a coy smirk before depositing the white cloth back into her lap.

Needless to say, Grandmama made it all sound like it was a matter of time before Alex made his feelings clear. I wanted to doubt her but who was I to judge a situation like this? I had always gotten horrible advice from Blair and I never asked for Elizabeth's advice for much of anything. She obviously knew Alex better than I did. But after thinking back to what she said, maybe Alex has a few things he's worried to open up to me about. I do plan to tell him about my situation back in New York but I want to make sure this is something long-term. I would hate to tell him the whole sob story only to receive his pity and him lose any respect he held for me. I need to make sure this is all real before I introduce him to the baggage I left behind. Hopefully, when Kate gets here she can help me with how to bring it up to him.