Escape Across the Pond

Chapter 24

Dear Dad,

Have I just been lying to myself this whole time? Didn't I know that everything was going to fall apart eventually? Did I have to let myself go and fall head over heels in love with someone and expect them to feel the same way? Am I doomed to be miserable no matter what I do? Should I have just stayed in New York and given up any life I ever envisioned for myself just for the sake of everyone else? Maybe so.

I'm jolted out of a sleep so deep I don't realize where I am for a moment. I look over beside me in bed because the one thing I do know is that I went to sleep with Alex last night. He kept me up until the early hours of the morning and judging by the light filtering into the room we haven't been asleep all that long. But it's then I notice Alex isn't in the bed anymore. I rub my eyes so that I can see through the blurriness clouding them. I'm still exhausted but in the best possible way.

I look up and spot Alex standing in the doorway of the bedroom. I notice that he's already showered because his hair is still damp. He's also wearing fresh clothes and I know he didn't have a change of clothes last night. What the hell is going on?

"Alex?" I rasp out and sit up in bed. "Is something wrong?" I ask. He looks murderous. His jaw is clenched so tight and his hands keep closing into fists. I've seen him angry before but never when he's looking at me. What could have happened?

"Do you or do you not have a fiance back in New York?" he says in a cold detached voice. He sounds nothing like the man I've been spending all my time with these past few weeks. I feel my heart crash down into the pit of my stomach. I know all the blood has left my face. Oh, God. I should have just told him. But I was too ashamed to tell him what I let happen to me back home. I couldn't let him stop looking at me like I was perfect. I didn't want to shatter that image of myself by telling him that I used to be a punching bag, both physically and verbally. I have to tell him, now.

"W well, I do but... it's not. We're not." I try to get out of bed and start my explanation in the worst possible way. I'm clutching the sheet to myself and I'm out of sorts as I stand and try to approach him but he puts his hand up to stop me before I even get started.

"That's all I needed to know, Coraline. You're not who I thought you were. You left him at the altar without so much as a goodbye. I can't be with someone like that." he practically growls at me and he sounds absolutely furious. If I could just get him to calm down so that I can explain, I know he'll understand why I left the way I did.

I'm tripping trying to gather the sheet to get to him because he isn't coming any further into the doorway and I will not be having this discussion with him standing across the room from me. "Wait. Alex, I can explain." I burst out. "I should have already. I'm sorry." I am trying to figure out the best way to say it without shouting out that my ex used to try to control my every move and when I refused he would hit me. That isn't something I want to shout out to the man I'm currently in love with. But I don't get the chance.

"What don't you get? I don't want to be with someone like you! I don't need an explanation!" Alex roars and I stumble from the rage in his voice. He's frightening right now. I don't think Alex could ever be anything like him but I've never seen him this angry before. I know my eyes are as wide as saucers. Then, I see him raise his fist and slam it down onto my dresser sitting beside the door. I jump backward when he shouts, "Beatrice was right about you all along!" so loud that I can feel the vibration of his words echoing off the walls in my bedroom. If I wasn't scared before, I certainly am now. But more than that, those words are a punch to my gut. Beatrice was right about me? I'm honestly terrified and so hurt by his words.

"I... I think you should leave." I stammer out shuffling backward now, never taking my eyes off my bare, beautifully polished toes peeking out from beneath the sheet wrapped around my naked body.