My fighter Man

A page from my journal

Wednesday, 16 November 2022.

Time: 3:09 AM (IST)

Ugh! I have no idea where to start this. Honestly, my hands are shaking and I'm listening to Under the influence by Chris Brown― Youtube suggestion. Home seems to be far away... For some reason, I miss home. Maybe that is the reason why I decided to write this down.

I'm sorry if I'm adding up things. It's just that I just couldn't come to the point, I― I just want to write down all the raw thoughts and words that are running up in my mind. I want to share something personal over here. I tried to talk about this and speak it out with someone, but sadly, I'm in a position where I have got no friends with whom I could share this.

The story goes back to November 2021 when I was backpacking around North India and I was actively writing my books. I lived in Himachal Pradesh in a backpacking hostel. There were six dormitories and, thankfully, the manager was kind enough to let me use one dormitory as I was going to live there for one month.

It was my personal space. I didn't share the dormitory with anyone except two people in the beginning, as I was scared of sleeping alone. My dormitory was on the second floor and it was the private part of the hostel because of the private suits that happened to be there right adjacent to the dormitory where I was living.

Everything was going well, I was able to pay my bills and handle my expenses. I was meeting new people, making new friendships, writing new characters and searching for stories. As the winter began, it was cold and I came from the city, so I had never experienced a cold that made me feel like the cold was pricking into my body.

Everyone thought I was living the best life. I wouldn't say they were wrong. I was happy and at peace. Then I started coughing. It wasn't severe. I used to cough here and there. I have a sweet tooth, so whenever my mind doesn't work or when I can't write a chapter, I eat sweets or cakes.

I didn't take it seriously, as coughs and colds are common in winter. But to make sure that it doesn't become chronic, I went to the pharmacy and got the medicine. I started taking the medicine and completely ignored it. By the time November ended, my cough worsened. Fortunately, I decided to go home.

I was home the whole of December and took a covid test. My mum and I were worried, the covid test came out negative. But I was coughing so my mum took me to the hospital. They mentioned that it was a chronic cough and gave us some powerful medicine. It worked and I stopped coughing. I was happy and by the end of December, I was packing my bags for another city.

I was in Goa for New Year. If only I knew what was going to happen. On December 30, I was going to a party but I had to stay back in my hotel room because I wasn't feeling good. I was coughing and it only worsened. The next two days, I didn't step out of my hotel room because of my sickness.

I was able to go to the beach and couldn't eat anything. It only worsened the situation. Goa was a New year trip and I was going to live in Kerala for one month where I was going to do freelancing. I couldn't sleep or eat anything. If I slept on my back or sideways, it only made me cough painfully.

Reaching a backpacking hostel in Alleppey, Kerala. I checked in and didn't speak with anyone. The train journey was painful and I wasn't myself. Locking the door, I removed my t-shirt and stood before the mirror. Whenever I used to cough, there was unbearable pain shooting from my left side, underneath my boob.

I used my phone's flashlight to see what had happened. My eyes widened when I saw a huge black spot over there. I searched for a hospital and made an appointment. I took a bath and went to the hospital. Reaching the hospital, they sent me to a resident doctor. I told her about the cough and how painful it was.