Picture to Burn // Sandor Clegane (2)

28. Shae

'What are you doing?' sansa asked as a walk-through the gardens Tyrion was repeating the peoples names as they passed by laughing at them.

'I have a list.' he told her

'a list of people you mean to kill?'

'For laughing at me? Who do you think I am? do I look like Joffrey to you? Death is a bit extreme but the fear of death on the other hand-' Tyrion began

'you should learn to ignore them.' sansa told him

'My lady people have been laughing at me far longer than they have been laughing at you. I am the half men the demon monkey.' Tyrion reminded her.

'You are a Lannister.' she corrected 'I am the disgraced daughter of Ned Stark.'

'The disgraced daughter and the demon monkey.' tyrion told her 'we are perfect for each other.'

'So how should be punished them?' Sansa questioned

'Who?'

'The men on your list.' Sansa said as if it was obvious.

'Well I could speak to Lord varys learn if they of their perversions anyone named Desmond Kraco must have secrets.' Tyrion told her.

'I do not think that you are a pervert.'

'I am a demon monkey, I have certain standards to maintain.' he told her.

"Demon monkey-" Avalon began as she came up to them.

"Don't get any ideas through that pretty head of yours." Tyrion instructed.

"Too late." Avalon mused.

'We could sheep shift lord desmans bed.' sansa suggested. 'You cut a little hole in his mattress and you shove the sheep shift inside.' sansa said pleasantly. 'Then you sew up the hole and make his bed again it will stink but he will not know where he's coming from.'

"What?" avalon asked looking between them. "Who are you doing this to?"

'Lady Sansa.' Tyrion said with a laugh looking up to Avalon.

'My sister did that to me when she was angry with me and she was always angry with me.' sansa told them.

'Why sheep shift?'

'That is the vulgar word for dung.' Sansa clarified.

'my lady.' Tyrion said blushing

'well you asked me.' she remarked.

"Did you need something Avalon?" Tyrion asked still chuckling.

"I have something-" Avalon began when Podrick ran up.

'my Lord my ladies.' Podrick said running up to them 'your father has called a meeting of the small council.'

"I can leave it in your chambers." Avalon suggested.

"Walk with me." Tyrion suggested. "You are still doing the mural, no?"

"Yes. slow going." Avalon agreed.

"Lion's are not so proud to you anymore?" Tyrion mused.

"This little lion is my favorite." Avalon offered.

++

Joffrey was at the small council meeting. Smiling widely practically bouncing with joy when tyrion arrived.

'Killed a few puppies today?' Tyrion question sitting down, at the opposite end.

'Show him show him' Joffrey said excitedly master pycelle handed over the note but it slipped from his fingers

'Apologies my Lord, old hands.' Tyrion bent over snatching it off the ground reading through the note

'Rosalyn caught a fine fat trout her brothers gave her a pair of wolf pelts for her wedding signed Walder Frey... Is that bad poetry or is it supposed to mean something?' Tyrion questioned

'Robb stark is dead,' Joffrey said 'killed him and his bitch mother.'  He turned his attention to master pyeclle. 'write back to Lord Frey tell him thank you for his service and command him to send Robb starks head I'm going to serve it to Sansa at my wedding feast!'

'Your Grace lady Sansa is your aunt by marriage.' Varys reminded him.

'A joke.' Cersei said 'Joffrey did not mean it.'

'Yes I did' he told his mother 'I'm going to have it served to sansa at my wedding feast.' Joffrey informed

'No.' Tyrion declared. 'she is no longer yours to torment.'

'Everyone is mine to torment' Joffrey corrected 'you do well to remember that you little monster.'

'Oh monster.' Tyrion said 'perhaps you should speak to me more softly then... monsters are dangerous and just now kings are dying like flies.'

+

After an awful conversation with his father and the small council he returned to his chambers to find the picture from Avalon. He stared at it a long while.

"Goodness Avalon." Tyrion whispered.

"What's that?" Shae remarked snatching it from him. She stared at the picture with a huff.

"She is my wife." Tyrion reminded her gently.

"Of course." Shae agreed bitterly as her nails tore into the parchment, ripping the edges.

"Shae." Tyrion requested holding out a hand for the picture.

"You can't possibly want this?" Shae asked incredulously. "A picture to immortalize your love for that child!"

"It is just a picture." Tyrion corrected. "Avalon worked hard on that. Please." Tyrion asked still reaching for it but Shae ripped it up. Tyrion watched the pieces fall to the floor at his feet as Shae stomped out stepping on the picture, her heel digging into it, just to further remark how angry she was. Tyrion let out a deep sigh as he picked up the pieces.

He needed to get rid of Shae before she took her anger out on Sansa.