Unheard

What did you say?

It's tiring, hearing the same thing so often. You say something to someone, "Sorry, what was that?" or "Oh sorry, what did you say? I wasn't listening". Sometimes you don't even get an apology, you just get ignored. It always happens, you're always finding yourself repeating things because the person you were trying to talk to didn't listen to you. Nobody, listens to you.

You try to tell yourself it's fine and not a big deal, but in reality it all builds up... all of those small moments of anger and annoyance. One day you snap, you say something telling everyone "Why does no one ever listen to me?!" and suddenly you're the bad guy, you're the one who has the problem, not anyone else. No, because everyone else is off in their own world ignoring you as the days go by. You tell them how you feel and you get criticised for speaking your opinion. You get told by some that you don't listen to them, and others try to tell you that "whenever you mention that nobody listens to you, I'm always listening". Making you doubt yourself, making you think that it's not that bad and you are just being dramatic. There's nothing to worry about.

You try and be respectful and wait your turn to talk, but nobody stops for even a moment to let you get your opinion and word out, and by the time there is enough time for you to say what you want to say, the topic has already finished being talked about and everyone is onto another topic. The next time you want to say something in a conversation, you try and find even the smallest amount of space in the conversation, and you make your input there. But in the process, someone continues talking and you get told off and criticised for interrupting someone else while they were talking.

Some days you just feel as though nobody cares, nobody wants to listen to what you have to say. So some days, you stay quiet, and don't say much. You get asked if you're ok, you tell them "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just tired". But what you're really tired of, is people constantly disrespecting you, constantly criticising you for what you say and do. Constantly just being ignorant idiots. You feel as though the world is unfair and nothing is going right for you anymore, nobody cares, nobody wants to care, nobody wants to listen to your stories.

You keep saying things to people hoping they listen to you, but it's the same thing every time, ignorance. "Sorry, what did you say? I wasn't listening". Of course you weren't, nobody ever does, I would expect nothing less. 

One day, you are walking along with a couple of your friends. You try to explain something to them, but do they listen. No, they don't. They go off and have their own little conversation without you, meanwhile you are trying to explain a point to them. You decide to give up and walk ahead a bit, but not so much that it seems rude and is you are ignoring them even if you truly are.

Some days you wonder why you even try. Why you bother trying to say anything to anyone. What's the point anyway? It's not like they'll listen to you. Any point you make just gets ignored, nobody cares. Not. One. Single. Bit.