Amelia - jenna mcdougall

chapter 12

Hey hope you liked the last chapter. Here's another one ;)
Daisy x

We stayed hugging for a couple of minutes, I was so at peace and I felt good for once in my life.
"Hey Jenna?" Ben asked pulling away. I inwardly groaned I wanted to just hug him!
"Mmm?"
"We should write a song."
That took me slightly by surprise.
"What? Like right now?"
"Not right now, but at some point."
"Cool, what about?" I had fallen in love with this idea and was beaming for ear to ear.
"Umm, I hope this isn't too personal but I was think about Amelia and-" he dropped his gaze, "sorry. Jenna I'm so sorr-"
I pressed my lips against his, pushing him back so that we were lying down. I pulled apart when I needed to breathe.
"Ben, I love that idea. I've been wanting to for a while but I can't write them on my own." I smuggled into his side.
"Really?" He said laying his head on mine.
"Yeah" I said giving him a quick peck on the lips. He pouted and gave me puppy eyes. I giggled and leaned in once more, firmly pressing my lips against his. He kissed me back and wound his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I smiled into the kiss and closed my eyes.
Then I realised I hadn't visited Amelia today. I pulled away gently and out my head on his shoulder.
"I need to go see Amelia." I finally said looking up at him. He nodded and released me. I sat up and hooped off the bed onto the floor. I picked up my phone that had fallen out of my pocket and went to get a jumper. When I returned ben was fully clothed, a blink 182 T-shirt now covering his top half. I smiled.
"Sorry, is it okay if I come?" He asked pulling on a pair of vans. I nodded.

****

We locked the door behind us and walked down the street, hand in hand. It was ibly when we got the end of the road that I realised we would have to walk past my house to get there. I stopped dead in my tracks, jerking ben to a sudden stop as well.
"Jen?" He frowned, "are you okay?"
"We have to go past my house to get there" I said, "what if she's there?" Fear filled my gut and I trembled at the mere thought of it. "What if she sees us and comes out, what if she hurts you as well?"
"Hey, hey!" He put his hands on my shoulders shaking me slightly, "nothing's going to happen okay? If she sees us then we run yeah?" He said soothingly. I felt slightly better, I nodded and took a deep breath. We started walking again and as we neared it I began to grow more and more panicky.
"Ben I don't think I can do it!" I gasped as the house cane into view.
"Yes you can, right get on my back!" He turned around and I jumped onto his back, winding my arms around his neck, he hoisted me up and continued walking. I buried my face in his back as we passed it and heard him swear quietly.
"Okay, jenna, get off my back and take my hand. When I say we're going to run like hell okay?"
I gulped and slid off his back taking his hand as I did so. I heard a door opening.
"JENNA MCDOUGALL?!!!"
I pulled my hood up and tried to block it out.
"IT IS YOU!!"
I felt bens grip tighten on my hand.
"COME HERE YOU LITTLE GIT!!"
I began to hyperventilate, my breathing coming out in short shallow gasps. Oh god not now! I had suffered panic attacks in the past but this was definitely the worst.
"Ben-i-cant-breath!" I managed to get out.
He suddenly yelled, "NOW!" And began to run dragging me with him. I stumbled after him tears flowing and my breathing uneven. We ran until the cliff was in sight. Then we collapsed in the grass, I was still having a panic attack and was struggling to breath.
"Ben-" I gasped, shaking violently, my stomach beginning to feel queasy. He noticed me and dragged me into a sitting position and squeezing me tightly. I gradually began to calm down, my breathing slowed and my stomach settled.
"Thank you." I finally said, pulling away and smiling weakly. He returned it and flopped back onto the grass. I turned towards the cliff edge and began to talk. I didn't care if he judged me for it, I stopped caring about people judging me a long time ago. I've learnt that Judgement's not unfair so I shouldn't be scared anymore.
"Emy you won't believe what's happened, I'm staying at Ben's right now and his family are really kind. He has guitars and we're going to write a song together. Its going to be about you Amelia. I hope that's okay. I hope you're okay up there. Remember you will always be perfect to me, I have pictures of us side by side at home, I managed to grab them before I left. I love, sleep tight Emy."
Ben had wandered over and was sitting next to me.
"Its so nice just watching you talk, its almsit as if your writing a letter to a distant friend." He put his arm over my shoulder, I laid my head on his and we sat there in silence, no words were needed. He's done so much for me and I can't help feeling like I owe him so much more than I can give.