Midnight Secrets

Chapter 7

It was like my life was a poorly written story. A chaotic directed movie that had rubbish actors and an even more dramatic storyline. Heck, even the acting would be mediocre.

I pushed off Nate's lap, momentarily taken aback that he allowed me to do with no fuss. I watched him carefully as he analysed my reaction, his eyes fleeting across my face. Like dropping such a bon shell information would cause an unknown reaction for me and he wanted to be prepared.

But damn it, I was ashamed to admit the sheer relief that coursed through my veins was what knocked me off my feet. I stumbled a bit back, my knees somehow becoming unable to hold the weight of my body anymore.

Nate quickly jumped off the bench and managed to grab me just before I met the ground. "I'm sorry."

I frowned at his apology. Sorry? For what?

A smile cracked through my face. A bubble of laughter built in my chest until I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let the hysterical laughter bellow out of me until I had to use Nate's long arm holding me to double over.

"Are you serious?" I managed to wheeze out. I had some sort of mind to know to fix up when I heard how crazy I sounded. I pushed out of Nate's hold once again and straightened my back.

I cleared my throat, straightened my blouse, and asked, "What happened?"

If I could take a picture of what a bewildered look, Nate's face would be snapped right now. His eyes were slightly wide- as wide as I have ever seen them, and he had his head tilted towards me ever so slightly. "Come again?"

"Come again what?" I repeated

Nate took a step back and surveyed my stance. "What the fuck was that reaction about?"

I shook my head at him. "What did you presume?" I questioned, narrowing my eyes at him. "That I had a loving relationship with him? I'm glad that bastard is dead."

"Why?"

Before I could debate whether it was wise to tell him or not, my mouth opened on its own accord and out flew whatever the heck it allowed to let out. "His wandering hands deserve to be in hell. If I didn't have Lorna with me every night, we knew him to be at my house, I would have long ago lost something too precious." I took in a deep breath, ignoring the wild hammering of my heart in between my chest. "Lord knows he has come close."

Nate went dead silent. Even though we were out in an open space, with several pedestrians walking all through their day, several cars driving by the road a short distance away, it was still as quiet as the dead. "Did he touch you?"

I crossed my arm across my chest, wanting nothing but to go into a ball. I knew damn well I suppressed my feelings and I had given myself no other choice. Having the slightest chance of outliving this world meant knowing when a breakdown was looming and doing everything in your power to not let it happen. Vultures flew above my head every day and piranhas swam below my feet every day. They were waiting for the slightest weakness I allowed to creep out my defences and then pounce.

Saliva pooled in my mouth and a prickling sensation dance through my whole body. My mind froze at articulate any of my words. Like whatever I had suppressed in the darkest corner of my mind could possibly never come to the front.

Nate stepped closer, grabbing my chin in his two slender fingers. His touch centred me, and I tried to calm my erratic heart by focusing on the dip just above his full lips. "Breathe." His lips formed the words – he probably voiced it as well my I couldn't seem to hear anything.

"Breathe, Ellie." I slowly heard his voice sink into my mind, but it was although it was being said from distance.

"Lorna protected me a lot." I whispered.