The Valkyrie Rises

Chapter One: A Thought to Ivar

Chapter One

(a Letter to Ivar)

My beloved, it has been five years since your passing. Your death is as fresh in my heart as the day you descended to Valhalla. How I miss you. I miss your wide smile and your gentle voice as it takes every single one of my worries away. I miss your laughter and I miss your glory days upon the battlefield. I cherish that little boy you once were that now lives in our son. I cherish the young man you have become; that black heart and the anger you held in you for long, and I cherish the man I’ve come to love deeply. You, who I once called my husband for a short while.

Our Kattegat has greatly changed for the better. She is much stronger now and she is thriving. Once I came home, with our child growing in my belly, I killed Ingrid and took my rightful place upon the throne. The throne in which many great men and women have sat upon. You who are among the many great. It was a glorious moment, my love. In that moment, I understand your lust for glory and trumpet. They shouted and called me the Queen of the Valkyries. I had finally lived up to my namesake. 

By the time I was properly crowned Queen, our son had grown large. My first priority was to remove any who would erase the idea of a great Kattegat. That meant any who served under Ingrid and King Harald. That was the easy part. Next, I had to represent a new reason for Kattegat. This meant no one was allowed to have or have ownership of a thrall. My love, hear me. I would never wish the life of a thrall upon anyone. It is a cold life and every young girl in Kattegat has their own ambitions. Who am I to hold them from those ambitions? I know you would agree with me if you were here. How you would marvel at the idea of a free Kattegat. By the time this law was written, our son came into the world.

As I was tending to the livestock, my belly began to ache greatly. Suddenly a thud pushed me to the ground and liquid came from beneath me. I must confess, I was frightened. I have never been so frightened. The aches lasted all day and they were growing intense each passing moment. Our son was born during the night, as Thor battled with the sea serpent. The rains were cold and harsh, but Odin echoed loudly as a rumble welcomed our child, Baldr. 

I know your first concern was if he was sick, oh Ivar- he was perfect. His legs were not twisted and his skin was a healthy gold. Once he calmed down from crying, he looked at me and in that moment he knew I was his mama. For a moment, however. I thought I was holding you again. He has your beautiful blue eyes. I gripped him tightly to be and rejoice with Odinn. A son of Ivar and a grandson of Ragnar is born to claim the throne of Kattegat. We live on. You live on.

I credit myself for many accomplishments. One would be birthing our son successfully. My next and probably most greatest accomplishment would be forming an alliance with King Alfred- your enemy. I know this would anger you greatly, but my love, when you passed, he offered us to bury you in our traditional ways. Your body now lies in the outskirts of Wessex. It's a way to say that you have successfully found your Kingdom. It has been a long and painful process to finally make this alliance. Many disagree with it on both sides, and it has taken me a long time to reassure the people of Wessex, especially, that I offer my peace and surrender. This is where your cunning echoed in me, Ivar, I formed an alliance with one of the sole purposes of his army. What good is his army to me? It allows my army to grow. 

I also owe my allegiance to King Alfred for him taking such great care of our Hvitserk. You would be disappointed in him, however. He has forsaken our Allfather, Odin and now he worships the Christian God. Yet, his love for you, me, and your son is still there. Hvitserk has found comfort in the Christian God and it has revived his grief from you. I suppose as long as he does not fall out again, I owe some sort of gratitude to the Christian God.

Just as I hold onto Sigurd’s memory-I lied- All I could remember of your dear brother is his smile and rarely the rest of his face would come to my memory. I will confess, I miss you the most. How you were horrid as a little boy, but you redeemed yourself by growing into a strong and loving man to me. Yet, your memory only does me very little good. How I wish I could hold you again and hear your voice. Your last words haunt me and give me such grief. 

Your death haunts me every day, my sweet. Your death replays in my mind very clearly. What a dastardly trick by Loki to replay a horrible memory while I struggle to hold all your memories.How he tortures me as I still can you die in my arms as you draw your last breath- and your last words- you’re free. It stabs my heart that my freedom meant your death. If it meant your death, I would gladly cut out my tongue and scrub the floors of the Great Hall and love you from afar to keep you here. 

Hvitserk had told me you were afraid as death drew near to you. I know every warrior would look forward to the grand feast with Odin in Valhalla, but my love, you were never a big eater. You had many reasons to stay here and you were never one for the AllFather’s image. You’ve always valued the Goddesses, my love, you were merely brainwashed by me unfortunately that the Goddesses all shared one personality. I lied. They are just like Odin and his wrath. 

Yet my love, you were not like most warriors. How your legs caused you much pain and suffering. As I remember your life with your pain I shed tears for you. If only you knew as you drew near to your death that day that you would be released by Odin himself of your pain. It was ok to be afraid that day. That secret has been confined to us and locked deep within our hearts.

Your son sees you as his hero and Hvitserk and I only remember the fun times with you. Even now I can hear your laugh, you did not laugh often, but when you did we all took the time to embody it. I can remember it: It was deep and filled with warmth besides your cold hyde. 

As your beloved wife, I miss everything about you, from your deep laugh to the touch of your skin. Now I have to live with you as a memory. I live day by day with the freedom that took your life. 

I must go for now, my beloved Ivar. Our son will soon be rising from his slumber. Today I will be making final preparations to sail to Wessex for the initial ingularation of our alliance with King Alfred. Baldr sits next to me on the throne, the throne in which you have sat on as a child. I teach him just like your father had taught me, for I bore the next heir to Kattegat.

I love you.