My collection of poetry and short stories

Bullied

Everyone has a life. Some people's lives are glorious and others are horrible. Mine is in between. It wasn't really that bad, yet it wasn't that good either. It was fine, but my life changed dramatically when I was about ten years old, and I changed a lot as well. Why? Pain changes people.

When I was younger, I loved to have my hair up in a ponytail with a bow, and wear pretty pink dresses and heels. Country music was my absolute favorite and enjoyed being around a lot of people. I would be described as bubbly and joyful. Now, compare that to who I am now. Rock and metal is my absolute favorite genre of music, I don't like dresses or being around people at all, and I am very shy and timid.

Throughout my life and even now, I have been bullied. At home my parents would always criticize me and make me feel worthless. When I went to school the other students would do the same. Eventually, my entire personality changed drastically. I lost who I was, and just tried to survive in this world which seemed so evil to me.

In fifth grade, when I was ten, the bullying increased, from both home and school. The names that they would call me at first were just little things, like stupid, and ugly and it wasn't very often. While it didn't bother me much, it did hurt my feelings. Then they started calling me worthless and saying that no one liked me. This was constant. I was always sensitive and I still am now. My feelings get hurt very easily. I became depressed and started to hate myself. I didn't understand what was wrong with me and why everyone hated me so much, especially my own parents. Even at such a young age of ten, people seemed to have no remorse for me. They told me to kill myself. Think about it, what would you do if you saw someone telling a ten year old girl to commit suicide? You would help, wouldn't you? No one bothered to help me though.

Even though it hurt me, I still put up with it. When I would go to school I'd sit in the back of the class and whenever the teacher asked a question I wouldn't try to answer because I was afraid if I was wrong everyone would laugh at me. I still do this today. As soon as I came home I either went straight to my room or stayed outside until nightfall, because I feared being near my parents. Sadness was all I ever seemed to feel. Even though I was just a child, I felt like I was ready for my life to end. I isolated myself from the world and kept to myself. Usually, I was lost in my thoughts of how I could make my life could be better, and the only conclusion I came up with was death.

After time went on, I got worse. I did some things that weren't particularly good, but no one knew. I became bulimic. Other things happened as well but I do not wish to mention them. Death started to be a constant thought, but I knew I would never try to kill myself; I had too much to live for. This is when music became part of my life. The band Black Veil Brides had given me hope and taught me to never give up on anything. I used music as a way to express my feelings, which is why the song Remember Everything by Five Finger Death Punch basically explains all of my feelings. Because I liked this genre of music, I started being called a Satanist, and emo freak. People even told me to cut myself.

I started getting better this year though. While I still have some problems now, I am a lot better than I used to be. With the help of a few good friends and music, I have more self confidence. Now, I am not afraid to be myself. Yes, people may judge me, but I have learned that as long as I like who I am then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I vowed to always help someone in need, even if they weren't the nicest or best person themselves, because I know what it feels like to be alone and to feel like no one cares about you. It is horrible and no one should ever feel that way.