My collection of poetry and short stories

Self Hatred

Pain is hollowing me on the inside.
No amount of tears or blood with soothe the hatred for the person in the mirror. I fucking hate myself. Look at me. Flaw after flaw after flaw. I'll never be good enough for anything. Anyone. I want to take a knife and cut off this fat. I'm so fucking disgusting. Nothing but worthless pig. Are you surprised by these words I call myself? Don't be. Other people were the ones who put them in my head. And now day after day they are eating me alive. Tearing me apart. No matter how many times I make myself throw up, no one notices because I'm still not pretty. And purging yourself isn't glamorous how others make it seem. It's leaning over the toilet with puke everywhere and tears in your eyes. Wondering why in the hell you have to do this. Wondering why the fuck you aren't good enough. It's having a swollen face and a headache for the next three hours. Everytime I see my reflection I want to shoot myself in the face. I hate who I am. I want to die. But no one will ever know. Because as long as I smile no one will notice the lies.