DECODE - Simon Ghost Riley [Editing]

25| Ultimatum

My hands shook with uncertainty as I faced the reality of what had just happened. Dawn broke over the skies above, and mist rolled in from the nearby coast. As the sun caressed the ground, it caused steam to billow up from the pools of watery blood that surrounded me, and as the heat kissed my face, I relaxed. My body succumbed to the tension and just completely relaxed, my heart rate dropped, my blood pressure returned to normal, and I was no longer in fight or flight mode as I sat on my legs as I knelt in the middle of Credenhill's SAS base.

The rain, as it had washed away torment and anguish, had washed away the thick, congealed mixture of blood and caked mud from my skin, and now I felt as though I had been born again. The phone, which I had previously held, was laid facing up at me, the number I'd dialled seared into my brain. Kate Laswell. I couldn't even begin to explain what had just happened, and, as I stared back at the lifeless, familiar face before me, I didn't want to explain.

Because that's the thing no one prepares you for. Losing someone you loved.

It's a funny thing, really. You spend half your adult life trying to forge connections with people you hold dear to you, and yet, when you want it to go well, life throws you a curveball, or a grenade, or something that will cause you to implode on yourself as you pick up the pieces of loss, and you go through the stages of grief over and over. I'd been through this before, when my father died, and I remembered how lost I had been, how I'd fallen into the clutches of self-inflicting pain and cuts to my juvenile skin, how I'd ended up in A+E after days of forcing myself to not eat or drink. I felt like that now, and I felt sick.

No one tells you that, surprisingly. When death is discussed, no one tells you about the ways it impacts those left behind, no one mentions how painful it is experiencing all of that second hand grief which gets forced down your throat until your lungs over-expand and you cough up blood. And, you feel numb.

"Spencer, just wait there, I'm sending some of my best men." Laswell's voice was sweet down the line, sobering, even as I looked at the gun in front of me and pictured the words Simon Riley had said to me months ago in Las Almas. Save one for yourself. I raised the barrel to my temple, the cold, sharp material kissed my skin, and I shut my eyes.

Six Hours Earlier - 0239hours

Gaz had his hand wrapped around mine in a tight embrace, a comforting gesture as he guided me towards the end of the forrest and towards the entrance to the range. There was no one around, all of the soldiers were unaccounted for as we made soft, gentle entry through the upturned chain-link fence of the perimeter. We padded in silently, our bodies near silent as Gaz scoped out the area.

It wasn't an unfamiliar area of the base to us, no, we spent most of our time training here. We had breach training, medical rescue training, and so much more confidential shit that we practiced to perfection here. Because, we couldn't be average. We had to be perfect in every sense of the word, and the SAS wouldn't have us otherwise. I remember the first time I saw this base, when I thought it was bloody massive, and now it was as familiar to me as the tip of my nose.

"Can you see any entry points?" I asked Gaz, my blade angled out before me as I kept an eye on the exposed land behind us. There was nothing, quite possibly nothing I wanted more than to go back to bed. I wanted to be laid up with Simon, my head on his chest as he traced his fingers along my shoulders. I wanted normalcy, I wanted this to end up okay.

Kyle sighed, "Front door?"

"Too exposed," I replied, and carried on looking. Shadow Company could have us cornered right now, they could have us in their sights, and we wouldn't know about it until it was far too late. "We need to get inside, pick a window." I told Gaz, and he moved in silence along the concrete car park, his weapon raised out before him as we ran together from one end of the property to the other. My lungs hurt, my leg hurt, but I couldn't stop. Not now when things were in sight.