if you could see yourself through my eyes | taegi

o n e

Taehyung had known Yoongi ever since he developed the ability to recognize people.

Yoongi has been there, next door, all of his life. Their parents are best friends who swore that their kids have to be best friends too, and while that should feel a little forced, Taehyung never had any problem with it (partly because he was too young to even care about who to play with – he just wanted anyone near to listen to his loud rants about why giraffes are the best animals to ever exist).

Yoongi with his feline-like eyes and skin so fair that Taehyung wants nothing more than to protect him from everything in the world despite him being younger and more powerless than Yoongi.

Taehyung likes Yoongi. He acted as the hyung that Taehyung never had. He taught Taehyung how to climb trees, how to ride bikes, and even helped him sneak out so they could learn how to swim on their own. They got scolded plenty of times but Taehyung never felt guilt. He had fun. He was with his Yoongi-hyung so nothing could ever go wrong.

At some point, Taehyung thinks that he looked at Yoongi as if he's a superhero. When he can't sleep at night, he likes to entertain himself with thoughts about how Yoongi puts on a cape late at night, plus a mask to hide his identity, so he could fly all over the world to help other kids who are lonely. Yoongi seems like the type of person to do that. Yoongi-hyung's hugs are the best because he's so soft and squishy, and Taehyung feels like he has his own personal teddy bear. And some other times, Taehyung wishes that his Yoongi-hyung isn't a superhero who goes out at night to make other kids happy. He wants Yoongi to be his superhero only.

Growing up together means fighting a lot too.

And Taehyung – he hates it when they fight.

While Yoongi can tolerate not talking to Taehyung for a whole day so he could learn from his mistake and apologize properly for it, Taehyung, on the other hand, would just cry and scream until Yoongi starts talking to him again. Because no one else can stop him from crying other than Yoongi.

And Yoongi, well, he can never stay mad when Taehyung starts to cry.

Taehyung thinks that having someone to rely on is both good and bad. Good because he always has Yoongi to protect him from the mean kids around the block, he always has someone to play with, he has someone to talk to when he's bored and has nothing else to do. But it's also bad in a sense that he never grew a backbone because Yoongi is always there to help him out. Taehyung doesn't know how to cross the street on his own, and he doesn't know how to stand up to those bullies without Yoongi.

Taehyung stayed by Yoongi's side all the way through middle school and high school, with how near the schools are to their houses.

They grew up but even after all those years, Yoongi's smile never changed. He still has those gummy smiles and loud laughter, enough to send Taehyung giggling after him even without knowing why. And his eyes – they still have those stars that never fail to give off those beautiful sparks.

Taehyung just wants those sparks to stay in Yoongi's eyes forever.

❀

Except that they didn't.

Yoongi left for college, and Taehyung, being a whole year behind, had to stay to finish his studies.

Yoongi went to Seoul and when he came back, he wasn't the same anymore.

❀

The first time Yoongi went home was after the first semester.

Taehyung is buzzing with excitement, eager to see Yoongi again after so long (it's really only a few months, but after spending everyday with Yoongi beside him, it just doesn't feel right to suddenly lose him), but before he could even run to the next house to visit Yoongi, loud crashes echo from inside, making his heart skip a beat in fear.