The Passing

Chapter Twenty-One

Lazarus envelops my dreams, throwing his presence around every crack and crevice. The moment I reach him, he vanishes to another far corner, and I am left scrambling to get to him yet again. The same line replays over and over, the words dancing from his lips to my ears in a crescendo; I love you, Kimila. You are brave. His words are more like the chanting we heard before the fire. The fire. The second it came hurtling through the window, it was like the entire house was engulfed within seconds. How does that happen? And, how am I brave? The moment all of our lives were in danger, I ran. I didn't even try to save him. Water swells around me, hoisting me in its wrath as the sea erupts in a temper tantrum. I am tossed around in its angry waves and my mouth fills with the overwhelming taste of salt. My throat burns from its concentrated sting, and I choke, coughing up endless amounts of water. All the while, Lazarus is watching, far from me so I cannot reach, repeating the same line as he suddenly catches fire.

"Lazarus," I weep to him, stretching my arm beyond its natural ability, desperate to grab hold of his hand, pull him down in the water with me. It's wild and dangerous, but the water is what he needs.

"Kimila," someone shoves at my body, ripping me from the dream-like state back to our bitter reality. I sit up fast, sucking in a gulp of air, clutching my neck as the burning of salt simmers away. Swiveling my head from side to side, I try to make out my surroundings. The sun kisses the horizon, welcoming us to another day under her gracious warmth. We sit parked next to a crumbling building, the entire top portion blown off the way the skyscrapers are in the big cities. Jane hops out of the bed first, stretching her limbs as she circles the truck.

"Where are we?" I ask, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I stand to my feet. Bee glances at me from the front of the truck, where she has carefully laid out a map. Savanna leans over her, pointing at various roads and following them down where blue takes up the page.

"Not even eighty miles from where you guys need to be." she states, pushing the map over the Savanna as she points to a place on the map. Savanna offers her a smile, taking the map with a grateful nod as she folds it and tucks it away.

"What are you going to do?" Jane asks, crossing her arms over her chest. Bee's eyes flick up to hers with a fire I vaguely recognize. Her resentment towards Jane, even given what key detail she is missing, is clearly written in the way she moves around her, in the way her tone changes drastically when talking to anyone else. For a moment, I expect her to lunge at Jane, maybe take a few swings. Whatever her and Avi had must have been the realist thing she had— and the scene in the bathroom really knocked her off balance. But, to be fair, what really was happening is way worse than what she thinks was happening. I just hope that after I'm gone, her and Jane can make up. They'd make a good team.

Bee bites at her lip, looking down the road where the sun rises. "I know of some people up north, I think I'm going to head that way. See where the road takes me." she answers after a while, pulling on the straps of her bag.

"Woah, in the middle of autumn? And what about winter? Are you sure about this?" Savanna's concern is deafening as she reaches out, gently touching her arm.

Bee smiles at her. "I'll be fine. I've handled way worse. You guys have helped me enough." she says as Savanna drops her hand. "Besides, I'm from there. What they would call Canada— Sherbrooke actually. They once had the whole town cordoned off." Her smile fades, the painful memory resurfacing and filtering through her mind. She doesn't have to explain to us what happened to know that that place no longer exists.

"You know, why don't you come with us?" Savanna offers, jetting an open hand back to the truck. "We have room. And, our people take care of friends."

Bee raises a brow, hesitant to take her on the offer. "Seriously?" she looks between the three of us, her expression even softening for Jane. Savanna nods, and I feel too guilty to deny her anything more, so I don't fight it. Savanna looks at Jane, who closes her eyes and shrugs. A smile forms, stretching across her face until her lips disappear. "I appreciate this."