Duty vs Desire: Kanthony Fanfic

Chapter 3: Fallin

Summary:

Struggles between duty and desire

Notes:

Oh, oh, I Never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure, and cause me so much pain?
Just when I think I've taken, more than would a fool
I start fallin' ,back in love with you

I keep on fallin' in and out, Of love with you
I never loved someone, The way that I love you

Chapter Text

The next morning, Kate woke only when she heard a knock on her door. Then she heard a voice, "Miss, your bath is ready." She opened her eyes to see the bright daylight streaming through the windows. She had never required much sleep and had been an early riser, always waking up before dawn. It was very unusual for her to sleep this late. She answered "I'll be right there" and she forced herself to get up from her bed. That bed, where she gave herself up, yet again, despite her better judgment. As she bathed, her mind wandered to the night before. How Anthony's mouth traced each curve of her body, that she now traced with her soap. She dropped her soap and closed her eyes, trying to collect herself.

What was she thinking, when she agreed to be her brother-in-law's mistress? She tried to tell herself that she had no choice, Anthony would have left her sister. But she knew, she created this impossible situation by sleeping with him, that too, on the night of her mother's funeral. She thought it would be just one night, but now she was living in her sister's house and sleeping with her husband. If only, she had retained a single shred of her honor. If only, she had removed herself from his life, instead of sleeping with him, he might have had a chance to save his marriage. Her sister might have had a chance. The water grew cold, she could not hide anymore in her bathtub and had to face her reality.

After she dressed, a maid escorted her to the dining room where Edwina was waiting for her. Kate hoped against hope, that Anthony wasn't there. But he was there, sitting at the head of the table, with Edwina to his right. She stood at the doorway, trying to catch her breath, wondering if she should just run back and hide in her room. All of this had been a terrible idea. But Edwina saw her and said "Good morning, didi, We were waiting for you. Come join us for breakfast." She could not escape now. She silently repeated 'Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him', steeled herself and walked into the room.

Kate decided to focus her attention on her sister, who looked much better than she had the last few days. A footman pulled up Kate's chair on Anthony's left. Kate didn't want to sit so close to him but she didn't have a choice. She thanked the footman and sat down, as the servers started serving breakfast. Edwina asked "Didi did you go for your morning ride?" Kate looked up at her, too startled to respond. Edwina continued 'You don't need to hide anything here. In fact, some day, if I wake up early, I will go with you." Kate finally answered "No Bon, I was just terribly spent last night. I woke up late."

Anthony smiled ever so slightly. He wanted to tease her about her night but decided not to. He could not risk her running away. He simply offered "Miss Sharma, you are welcome to any horse you would like. My stable-hands will help you select one that best suits your temperament. Please think of this as your home." Kate felt like an imposter, this was not her home, it was her sister's. She responded "Thank you my lord, you and the viscountess are most generous, but I could not think of your beautiful house as mine. I am only a guest here until my sister relieves me."

Edwina retorted "Didi, you are not going anywhere. And there is no need to be so formal anymore." Kate was alarmed, she said quickly "That shan't be necessary, I do not wish to forget my place" Edwina smiled and said "Alright didi, at least call me bon not viscountess, I am still your sister. Mumma would have...'' and she felt sad again.