reserved for my mind | komahina

fuck reserve course students

[ nagito komaeda ]

Nagito had decided he hates all Reserve Course students for Hope's Peak Academy.

It's for no particular reason, really, but the idea of it came up when Nagito met Hajime Hinata- a student from the Reserve Course Department.

Nagito had met Hajime a week ago, through Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer and yes, Nagito and Hajime's first time meetimg each other went spectacularly! Only if you counted Hajime looking like he wanted to dump his orange juice over Nagito's head and throw him against a wall five minutes into conversation spectacular.

It was Chiaki and Hajime's fault, Nagito had defended himself in his head against absolutely nobody. Chiaki had introduced him to Hajime and Hajime was the one who wanted to kill Nagito!

No, there wasn't anything wrong with whatever Nagito talked about. There was nothing wrong with rambling about hope and going off into a whole 'Hope vs Despair' essay that would score him a considerable amount of points more than his average schoolwork.

Nagito had taken to being the poster boy for hope (though Saionji did not appreciate his efforts, as did many of his classmates), a term he paraded since the oh-so tragic day of his birth.

And true to the low effort motivational quotes where 'Be yourself!' could be found pasted over an irrelevant picture of the ocean, Nagito had talked to Hajime of the importance of hope as if teaching a Masterclass.

That didn't exactly turn out the best, though.

After his meeting with Hajime, Nagito then went on to come to the conclusion that due to the fact Reserve Course students had no actual Ultimate talent and had come via paying a fee, they, along with zero talent, had zero hope. And therefore he had a reasonable answer as to why he hated the Reserve Course students.

The hatred of Reserve Course students stuck with Nagito throughout his school life, and he had intended to stick with it his entire life.

Too bad the whole reason he even had that hatred was kind of hot.

The words 'fuck Reserve Course students' rang true to Nagito more than they ever had.

Nagito had long since grown past the 'Boys can't love other boys!' mindset, but he finds himself thinking that the moment Hajime walks by him. Which is a problem because a) Hajime is a Reserve Course student and b) Nagito may be worthless trash but he wasn't worthless trash that hadn't grown out of the thinking of a 13 year old having their first love.

Nagito supposes his luck has decided to convert into zemblanity.

Especially if Nagito found Hajime's smile adoring, his face pretty, his fucking hands attractive and oh, his chest-

Yes, Nagito's sure he's more than unlucky.

(His only excuse is that these types of thoughts are perfectly normal for a teenage boy like him.)

Really, it was serious, why was he thinking about how Hajime might look without his shirt?

From the various amount of romance Nagito has read (including ones written by Toko Fukawa herself), Nagito was supposed to suddenly find everything about Hajime beautiful, which was correct, but unlike romance stories, Nagito felt the urge to smash Hajime's head with a boulder just so he wouldn't have to see his stupid (albeit pretty) face.

"...Komaeda?" Hajime asks.

For some reason Nagito thought it was an excellent idea to talk with Hajime.

"Hajime. I'm... sorry for last week," Nagito forces the words out, horrified that his eyes have wandered to Hajime's lips.

Hajime blinks. "It's fine."

It's fine.

Nagito flushes red. He feels like a first grader making up over an argument for a pencil.

 "Okay, no, sorry, never mind," Nagito says quickly.

Now, if this was fiction, Hajime would have blushed prettily while sakura petals fell around them (despite them being indoors) and romantic music from nowhere would play and they would have exchanged phone numbers for god knows why.

But this was reality, and because this was reality, confusion spread across Hajime's expression. "It really is okay. You were just kind of… weird."

Well. It wasn't like Nagito didn't expect that reaction. Could have been worse, but Nagito still doesn't respond.

"Fuck me."

The words are out of Nagito's mouth before he can think, the meaning of them, ah, ambiguous. He internally curses his social incompetence.

"What?" 

"..Pft."

Nagito begins to laugh uncontrollably while Hajime watches incredulously.

"You're seriously-" Hajime muttered. "Hey, are you okay?"

Nagito wants nothing more than to kill himself right then and there, and he stops his laughter, though still smiling.

Silence falls over them.

"I'm sorry."

The voice belongs to Hajime.

"For the other day. I think I made you misunderstand- and- I-" Hajime sighs. "Never mind."

"..." Nagito stares at Hajime. "Then we're…?"

"...Friends, yeah," Hajime shakes his head, looking embarrassed. "Bye, Nagito."

Nagito.

Hajime addressed him by his first name.

Hajime leaves and Nagito realises his heart is fucking racing. A blush makes its way onto Nagito's face.

If this was a typical shoujo manga, Nagito would be acting like a lovesick teenager, a blush on his face that would suggest a fever rather than fluster, and he might even have gone "Kyaaa!! Hajime talked to me!", as if talking to someone you liked was an achievement worthy of worldwide praise. (which, Nagito didn't like the sound of.)

But reality was much more subdued, so instead of an intense and dramatic anime flashback to Nagito's earlier conversation with Hajime, only one sentence was in Nagito's train of thought.

I'm in love with Hajime Hinata.

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